The Worst People Win Again (Deadspin)

[bradshaw2ben]

https://deadspin.com/the-worst-people-win-again-1832321959

All the terrible people are happy today. Robert Kraft is happy, and presumably has a low arm wrapped around an auto show model, because another ring only further burnishes his title of King Of All Owners. Tom Brady is happy because he gets to frame himself as an underdog who overcame impossible odds despite being a wealthy, handsome, world-class athlete who has unrivaled accomplishments and is married to an even wealthier supermodel. Bill Belichick is happy this morning, which is probably unbearable for him. I bet he treated himself to a Belgian waffle before putting his Game Frown on and heading back to his precious tape mines for another season. Brian Flores is happy because he gets to bask in the glow of a championship before going to Miami and quickly realizing he’s in way over his head.

Jim Nantz is happy because the Official Team Of Vineyard Vines won it all yet again, and because he’s another day closer to eating cheese sandwiches at Augusta, and because he got to pimp out Brady’s horseshit narrative about the Pats sticking it to the doubters because Jim Nantz thrives in an access economy and he’ll gladly spew out whatever sewage that economy ladles into his waiting hands. All last week, this was a game in desperate search of greater meaning, and now people like Nantz will be left to wring even more contrived and false narratives out of its pointless outcome.

They’re all happy. The President is happy because he’ll get to “treat” his favorite pet title team to a buffet of White Castle and brag online about how he’s played golf with 60 percent of them. Julian Edelman is happy because he has an MVP and now has license to ride Tom Brady’s coattails all the way to the fucking grave, where he’ll be buried alive alongside him. Gronk is happy because Gronk is always happy and that’s supposed to make ME happy even though his act wore thin 67 injuries ago. He’s now free to retire and go star in direct-to-Netflix chopsocky movies that will prove even duller than what transpired last night. Jon Bon Jovi is happy, which is too bad because his band is fucking awful.

Bill Simmons is happy because he gets to be like “Why was I the only one talking about how much potential this team had?” before embarking on a 30-part podcast series about Bruce Willis’ performance in Color of Night. Terminal shitbag Dave Portnoy is happy because, in his Aqua Velva universe, another Pats victory means he gets to grant himself permission to pathologically harass roughly 200 new women. He also managed to get performatively ejected from the Super Bowl, a limp stunt that will only enhance the imaginary buyout value of Barstool—the FuckJerry of sports sites—before all the VC bros bail and he films himself laying off 300 employees by ambushing them in the shower with the news. In fact, many of the remaining members of the national media are happy today because fucking 80 percent of them root for this team.

Yes, it’s a great day for unrepentant assholes all over the nation. For all the good and honest citizens, it’s puke. It’s a sixth loaf-shaped turd plopping directly into the punch bowl.

[Legacy User]

Wow. That was wonderful.

[Louis Lipps Service]

Oh, man. Bill Simmons.

I used to love reading him WAY back on espn.com's Page 2 when I was in college about 16 years ago. I used to read it so often that I still instinctively type "espn.go.com" on the rare chance I go to ESPN's website because that used to be the url where it was hosted. His running diaries (particularly the one with the Spelling Bee) and Mailbag columns could get absolutely hysterical. I even got my non-sports-fan roommate into them.

Then he got too big and started trying to fit his "Boston Sports Guy" persona into a more mainstream audience...and it just sucked. Boston getting good at sports also kind of ruined that. His "we're always the losers" shtick got derailed and didn't work anymore, and he never really had a plan B.

[Donnie Brasco]

Rooney is happy because his team won 13 games 2 seasons ago

[BethlehemSteel]

this stuff is very relevant to how the NFL by their own hand pissed more fans off by their shady day to day

Because this WAS a good season, featuring the ascension of Patrick Mahomes, and Drew Brees throwing for 80,000 yards, and Saquon Barkley doing everything that everyone hoped Saquon Barkley could do, and the league reporting that concussions have gone down (insert uncontrollable snickering here)! Yes, it was a fine season, until it ended with a criminally bad 13-3 Super Bowl capstone, a game that featured fully legalized pass interference and somehow represents the biggest blowout in Patriots Super Bowl history. It was unwatchable from start to finish, and I promise you that I didn’t want it to be.

The fact that the Patriots—whose dynasty is like if you took Woodstock ’99 and made it last 17 years—won it all renders all goodwill toward football moot. That game was an impossible bore, and the Rams’ torpid offense was certainly no help.

Here’s a franchise that had already busted the four-ring barrier and pulled off the greatest Super Bowl comeback that has ever been or ever will be. Now they have a sixth ring, which ties them with the Steelers for most all time. That means we gotta hear TWO horrible, noxious fanbases brag about it and try to trademark Seven Would Be Heaven™ for bad merch over the next year, at the shortest. Yay? I have no interest in hearing how much THIS one matters the mostest to Tom Brady and his feathered mullet owner. Everything about this cherry-on-a-cherry-already-on-a-sundae Pats title is predictably obnoxious and overindulgent.

I wish I could tell you football haters that last night’s debacle represents the league’s death knell—a watershed of monotony that turns even the league’s diehards away for good. But I know better. The NFL was built on this exact kind of lie. They toot their horn about parity and equality and level payrolls and all that nonsense, and at the end of the season it’s the same cadre of rich assholes standing on a dais, further enriched. It’s the worst of America all over again. The NFL hates equality and believes, on principle, that it should be knocked right out of you. Only the terrible people get to feel good. Everyone else gets laid out on the ground.

And as much as the NFL claims to abhor its own violence, it’s more than willing to stand over you when you’re down and sneer at you for being too weak. Fuck them, fuck the Patriots, and fuck all the terrible people right off the side of the Earth.

[Orangesteel]

Still mind boggling to me that Tomlin found a way to miss the playoffs. He’s a shit head of the highest order. Meanwhile things have never been better in Beantown and it makes me want to vomit in my lap.

[Legacy User]

Still mind boggling to me that Tomlin found a way to miss the playoffs. He’s a shit head of the highest order. Meanwhile things have never been better in Beantown and it makes me want to vomit in my lap.

Oh yeah, those bastards are having championship parades as much as we go take a piss. In every damn sport. Its repulsive, disgusting.

[Legacy User]

this stuff is very relevant to how the NFL by their own hand pissed more fans off by their shady day to day

Because this WAS a good season, featuring the ascension of Patrick Mahomes, and Drew Brees throwing for 80,000 yards, and Saquon Barkley doing everything that everyone hoped Saquon Barkley could do, and the league reporting that concussions have gone down (insert uncontrollable snickering here)! Yes, it was a fine season, until it ended with a criminally bad 13-3 Super Bowl capstone, a game that featured fully legalized pass interference and somehow represents the biggest blowout in Patriots Super Bowl history. It was unwatchable from start to finish, and I promise you that I didn’t want it to be.

The fact that the Patriots—whose dynasty is like if you took Woodstock ’99 and made it last 17 years—won it all renders all goodwill toward football moot. That game was an impossible bore, and the Rams’ torpid offense was certainly no help.

Here’s a franchise that had already busted the four-ring barrier and pulled off the greatest Super Bowl comeback that has ever been or ever will be. Now they have a sixth ring, which ties them with the Steelers for most all time. That means we gotta hear TWO horrible, noxious fanbases brag about it and try to trademark Seven Would Be Heaven™ for bad merch over the next year, at the shortest. Yay? I have no interest in hearing how much THIS one matters the mostest to Tom Brady and his feathered mullet owner. Everything about this cherry-on-a-cherry-already-on-a-sundae Pats title is predictably obnoxious and overindulgent.

I wish I could tell you football haters that last night’s debacle represents the league’s death knell—a watershed of monotony that turns even the league’s diehards away for good. But I know better. The NFL was built on this exact kind of lie. They toot their horn about parity and equality and level payrolls and all that nonsense, and at the end of the season it’s the same cadre of rich assholes standing on a dais, further enriched. It’s the worst of America all over again. The NFL hates equality and believes, on principle, that it should be knocked right out of you. Only the terrible people get to feel good. Everyone else gets laid out on the ground.

And as much as the NFL claims to abhor its own violence, it’s more than willing to stand over you when you’re down and sneer at you for being too weak. Fuck them, fuck the Patriots, and fuck all the terrible people right off the side of the Earth.

Ok, one little jab i noticed in that article. How in the hell can they compare Steeler fans to Patriot fans? Thats bullshit.

[Legacy User]

http://dailysnark.com/violent-brawl-eru ... ip-parade/

Nice........

[Donnie Brasco]

http://dailysnark.com/violent-brawl-erupts-between-patriots-fans-in-at-teams-championship-parade/

Nice........

The fight erupted over a dispute whether Welker or Edelman was the most gritty white player on the team

[JackLambert58]

Oh here's an idea, B2B. How about beating them? Terrible people. Cripes, if there were two words the describe the Pittsburgh Steelers organization on February 5, 2019, it's "Terrible people" and has absolutely nothing to do with the wonderful legacy of Myron Cope. There isn't much to love about this team right now, and it'll be more of the same with the warped team leadership in place right now. From the complete douchenozzle owner down to the waterboy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a fucking zoo and not likeable at all.

[Legacy User]

http://dailysnark.com/violent-brawl-erupts-between-patriots-fans-in-at-teams-championship-parade/

Nice........

The fight erupted over a dispute whether Welker or Edelman was the most gritty white player on the team

Could have been a few in the fight saying it was Hogan to.

[CdnSteelerFan]

I never thought going back to the hospital was a blessing in disguise.

[Jobu]

http://dailysnark.com/violent-brawl-erupts-between-patriots-fans-in-at-teams-championship-parade/

Nice........

Violent brawl??? That’s a fight...happens all the time. Drunks gotta drunk...

[Pabst]

The Worst People Win Again (Deadspin)

Counterpoint: The assholes at Deadspin are pissed off. I call it a wash.

[R_S]

Oh here's an idea, B2B. How about beating them? Terrible people. Cripes, if there were two words the describe the Pittsburgh Steelers organization on February 5, 2019, it's "Terrible people" and has absolutely nothing to do with the wonderful legacy of Myron Cope. There isn't much to love about this team right now, and it'll be more of the same with the warped team leadership in place right now. From the complete douchenozzle owner down to the waterboy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a fucking zoo and not likeable at all.

Bingo. And fuck deadspin. They jumped the shark years ago when they turned into a Huffington post of sports. Boooohooo... BB, Brady and Krsft like Trump. They must be assholes! I hope they lose every game. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa....

[Jobu]

Ok, one little jab i noticed in that article. How in the hell can they compare Steeler fans to Patriot fans? Thats bullshit.

Naaah....it really isn’t.

[955876]

Rooney is happy because his team won 13 games 2 seasons ago

Likely so.

[Legacy User]

Oh here's an idea, B2B. How about beating them? Terrible people. Cripes, if there were two words the describe the Pittsburgh Steelers organization on February 5, 2019, it's "Terrible people" and has absolutely nothing to do with the wonderful legacy of Myron Cope. There isn't much to love about this team right now, and it'll be more of the same with the warped team leadership in place right now. From the complete douchenozzle owner down to the waterboy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a fucking zoo and not likeable at all.

There are any number of guys on the team that are likeable including JuJu, Conner, Heyward, Watt, Haden, McDonald, among others. Bell and AB don't represent the whole team.

[AirRescueFF]

Still mind boggling to me that Tomlin found a way to miss the playoffs. He’s a shit head of the highest order. Meanwhile things have never been better in Beantown and it makes me want to vomit in my lap.

Wk11...

7-2-1...97% playoffs.

Same week....Baltimore 37%. Indy 22%. Philly 20%.

[Obviously]

Oh here's an idea, B2B. How about beating them? Terrible people. Cripes, if there were two words the describe the Pittsburgh Steelers organization on February 5, 2019, it's "Terrible people" and has absolutely nothing to do with the wonderful legacy of Myron Cope. There isn't much to love about this team right now, and it'll be more of the same with the warped team leadership in place right now. From the complete douchenozzle owner down to the waterboy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a fucking zoo and not likeable at all.

There are any number of guys on the team that are likeable including JuJu, Conner, Heyward, Watt, Haden, McDonald, among others. Bell and AB don't represent the whole team.

Bell, AB and Tomlin are the current face of it, though. Them, the drama and the late season collapse.

[JackLambert58]

Oh here's an idea, B2B. How about beating them? Terrible people. Cripes, if there were two words the describe the Pittsburgh Steelers organization on February 5, 2019, it's "Terrible people" and has absolutely nothing to do with the wonderful legacy of Myron Cope. There isn't much to love about this team right now, and it'll be more of the same with the warped team leadership in place right now. From the complete douchenozzle owner down to the waterboy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a fucking zoo and not likeable at all.

There are any number of guys on the team that are likeable including JuJu, Conner, Heyward, Watt, Haden, McDonald, among others. Bell and AB don't represent the whole team.

Are you happy with the Pittsburgh Zoo atmosphere created by Tomlin and enabled by EMR? Yeah, the guys you mentioned aren't assholes to my knowledge.

[R_S]

Oh here's an idea, B2B. How about beating them? Terrible people. Cripes, if there were two words the describe the Pittsburgh Steelers organization on February 5, 2019, it's "Terrible people" and has absolutely nothing to do with the wonderful legacy of Myron Cope. There isn't much to love about this team right now, and it'll be more of the same with the warped team leadership in place right now. From the complete douchenozzle owner down to the waterboy, the Pittsburgh Steelers are a fucking zoo and not likeable at all.

There are any number of guys on the team that are likeable including JuJu, Conner, Heyward, Watt, Haden, McDonald, among others. Bell and AB don't represent the whole team.

Are you happy with the Pittsburgh Zoo atmosphere created by Tomlin and enabled by EMR? Yeah, the guys you mentioned aren't assholes to my knowledge.

Well if you have 3 of the top faces of a franchise who are unlikable assholes, it pretty much overpowers the rest of them.

[JackLambert58]

Agree, RS.

[Legacy User]

A difference in perception then. The "zoo atmosphere" appears to be a couple of guys, while there are many guys working hard and doing the right things.

[JackLambert58]

A difference in perception then. The "zoo atmosphere" appears to be a couple of guys, while there are many guys working hard and doing the right things.

Sure until the next guy goes off the rails enabled by Mike Tomlin.

The zoo atmosphere also includes dumbfuckedness on the field whether it be stupid turnovers (I'm looking at you, Grimble) or numerous penalties especially on special teams, and of course choking away a playoff berth.

[Donnie Brasco]

A difference in perception then. The "zoo atmosphere" appears to be a couple of guys, while there are many guys working hard and doing the right things.

Couldn't you describe the Bengals and Cowboys of yore in the same manner?