Life of a Message Board Pariah

[swissvale72]

Fitting to start this essay with a quote from my beloved friend, KC:

I love ya Swiss. I'll never be as big a Steelers fan as you are, but you're about to have a come to Jesus moment in 2019!

Couple basic fact to start:
*It's true. I'm entering my 55th season of Steeler fandom. I've catalogued my life by Steeler games and events. I'm reluctant to claim that I carry more Steeler cred, have been a more vociferous, more crazed, more all-encompassing, more mood-dependant on Steelers games than just about any of you....but I think it's kinda true. KC knows it. Others do as well. Pissants like Lipps and Ice, relative newcomers to this esteemed website might not know it, but who gives a fuck what those fuckin' idiots know or don't know. Personally, I give zero fucks.

*Yes, I like to fight. It's what we do here. It's not an agenda, it's not stating things I don't believe. I do like the give-and-take, the mother-fuckin', the competition. And, as I've told people, I think it keeps me sharp for my job, for fighting the bureaucratic douchebags that work for the State of New Hampshire.

*I'm not much on favorite players. It's not like I have an affinity for Antonio Brown of Levenon Bell beyond their productiveness as Pittsburgh Steelers. Ironically, last time I got so much shit was for dissing a much younger Antonio Brown for stepping out of bounds with perhaps a clear line to the goal line, and a winning touchdown, in front of him, at the end of the Miami game in 2013. THAT cost us a playoff spot, too!! At the time, I was accused of having a bromance, a mancrush on Santonio Holmes. At that time, the ancestor of present-day stat whores, Veritas Steel, kept posting catch and yardage numbers, of which I didn't much give a shit. Said it then, now and always..."As Steeler fans, we will always be indebted to Santonio Holmes." He's another guy who arguably forced his way out of town, another guy for whom the Steelers got a bucket of mud in return, another guy who Art II fucked up by trading him. He's also a guy that was a clutch mother-fucker, came up biggest when the lights were brightest, and was an absolute Ravens killer. But yeah, I was taken to task by this esteemed website's dumbfuckery for continually trumpeting the greatness of Santonio Holmes.

Then there are those who tell me to "get a life," or supportively and sensitively inquire if something is wrong, something gone awry in life. I'm writing to you from my seaside paradise in Prince Edward Island, on land fronting the Gulf of St. Lawrence that I bought and built on 18 years ago, with the US dollar worth $1.50 CDN. Married to Mrs. Swiss 39 years...she merited a chapter of her own in The Manifesto. What a contrast. Yesterday, I sat on my deck that sits atop my seawall (to battle erosion) and drank beers all afternoon in the sun, gazing at a sandy beach, not a soul on that beach all afternoon....no one!! Sunday, I'll be in New York City for work. My boy's in NYC, a CPA for a top company, but can't manage his own money. My girl's married and in graduate school. Cost of college for these two kids, and then a wedding, makes me think that retirement will never come for me, even though I could collect social security now. But why would I? I do whatever the fuck I wanna do at work...but only cuz I respect the job.

I fully expect a number of you jagoffs to diss this piece. That's okay, give zero fucks. I write 'cuz I like to write, not to pay any homage to you asshats. Even though we disagree plenty, funny to know that some of these relationships have spanned 20 years or more...with KC, Barry Foster (aka, Signplax, aka BarneyRubble), and of course Hesske, who hasn't posted since post-SB XL, but follows and comments to me. Got together with Signplax at Heinz, twice. I might still owe him a beer. Tailgated and watched games in bars with JackLambert58. Met B2B at the Cask N' Flagon in Boston as well. Disagreed with him before and after, but not during. Dude does know his football....sees shit I don't see.

Oh, no, I'm not drunk. That was yesterday. It's just a rainy night here in PEI, so penning this piece....back to the Granite State, the 603 tomorrow, then onto NYC on Sunday.

At any rate, don't expect me to STFU about the impact of James Conner's fumbles, or how the Steelers will miss the production of Antonio Brown, regardless of how fuckin' fast he drove around Pittsburgh, or how much shit he threw off his balcony. It keeps getting raised; I'll keep responding. Go ahead and convince the mods to ban me. As I've said before, "I've been thrown outta better places than this." I kinda enjoyed my two-year banning, all the while keeping in touch with this esteemed website's owner, with whom I co-wrote an article when banned, and with whom I appeared on a Pittsburgh TV show, along with my brother, Tony.

Lastly, any of you traveling the Parkway East to Heinz this year, should get off at the Swissvale Exit, proceed to the Triangle Bar & Grill. They open at 8am on Steeler Sundays, pick up a couple battleships. I had a job making those 27" hoagies, made six at a time, kept them in a box under the counter awaiting the lunchtime crowd. Fuck refrigeration. "I'll have two battleships!!" Take a couple outta the cardboard box..."Here ya go! That's $4." Place is now owned by Tommie Crombie, passed down by his dad, Bones. Bones Crombie bought it from Joe Catanzano, who owned it with his brother Johnny, originally owned by their dad, Sam Catanzano. My dad at the first battleship ever made. True story!! I can prove it.

Okay, tired of writing. Undoubtedly, any of you asshats who read this are tired of reading.

Go STEELERS!!!

[Legacy User]

I was annoyed when Deuce traded Holmes. I think Deuce was much more justified in trading AB.

Swiss, I feel like you're overemphasizing Conner's fumbles. He rushed for 973 yards and 12 TD's. He received for 497 yards and 1 TD. But sure, let's put all our focus on his two fumbles. You say he's responsible for losing two games. With those stats, how many games would you say he's responsible for winning?

And it really comes across to me as unseemly and disrespectful to the mods for you to keep saying "go ahead and ban me. I've been thrown out of better joints than this." If you care so little about the place, why do you post here?

[Jobu]

I'm writing to you from my seaside paradise in Prince Edward Island, on land fronting the Gulf of St. Lawrence that I bought and built on 18 years ago, with the US dollar worth $1.50 CDN. Married to Mrs. Swiss 39 years...she merited a chapter of her own in The Manifesto. What a contrast. Yesterday, I sat on my deck that sits atop my seawall (to battle erosion) and drank beers all afternoon in the sun, gazing at a sandy beach, not a soul on that beach all afternoon....no one!!

OK Swiss, it’s official...I fucking hate you! I really fucking hate you!!!


Oh...and don’t underestimate the joys of retirement. I’ve been retired since March...waking every morning and realizing I don’t have to go to work, or anywhere else, is every bit a joyful as a Steelers Super Bowl victory. Yes...it is that fucking great!

[K_C_]

You're not a message board pariah, Swiss.

You're just dead wrong about this.

You keep acting like there was anybody within the Steeler organization that somehow caused MC Hammer Jr to want to leave. Caused him to throw shit off balconies almost killing little kids. Caused him to shove baby mamas to the ground.

Pssst.....this was 100% on MC Hammer Jr. The Steelers didn't want him to leave. This walking, talking COCK forced his way outta Dodge.

He'll regret it. He already regrets it if you read his social media. He seriously said he wants to come back to Pittsburgh to be honored .

I'll be there, if at all possible. Throwing more batteries at this piece of shit than were thrown at Dave Parker in Three Rivers, decades ago.

BELIEVE IT. I loathe that piece of shit.

[swissvale72]

I was annoyed when Deuce traded Holmes. I think Deuce was much more justified in trading AB.

Swiss, I feel like you're overemphasizing Conner's fumbles. He rushed for 973 yards and 12 TD's. He received for 497 yards and 1 TD. But sure, let's put all our focus on his two fumbles. You say he's responsible for losing two games. With those stats, how many games would you say he's responsible for winning?

And it really comes across to me as unseemly and disrespectful to the mods for you to keep saying "go ahead and ban me. I've been thrown out of better joints than this." If you care so little about the place, why do you post here?

I think I've taken a balanced view on Conner. Yes, he contributed mightily to Steeler wins last year, but let's not pretend that those two fumbles weren't goddamn costly. And I'll not retreat from the position that had he not fumbled against the Browns, Steelers definitely win. Unexpectedly great season by the kid, but with a couple fatal errors.

As for the "ban me." thing, it's nothing to do with the mods. I know they won't ban me for expressing my opinion, regardless of its unpopularity and the frequency with which I express it. It's a commentary to the asshats that write about being "irritated," or "why keep posting this," or make false accusations about my intentions, or as with the douchebag Lipps, calling on me to take permanent leave from the site if the Steelers better last year's record. It's not so much "ban me," as "go ahead and try to get me banned," ....it's a step up from telling people not to read what I write if it bothers them so much.

[swissvale72]

You're not a message board pariah, Swiss.

You're just dead wrong about this.

You keep acting like there was anybody within the Steeler organization that somehow caused MC Hammer Jr to want to leave. Caused him to throw shit off balconies almost killing little kids. Caused him to shove baby mamas to the ground.

Pssst.....this was 100% on MC Hammer Jr. The Steelers didn't want him to leave. This walking, talking COCK forced his way outta Dodge.

He'll regret it. He already regrets it if you read his social media. He seriously said he wants to come back to Pittsburgh to be honored .

I'll be there, if at all possible. Throwing more batteries at this piece of shit than were thrown at Dave Parker in Three Rivers, decades ago.

BELIEVE IT. I loathe that piece of shit.

Let's say all that's true, KC. I've not really fussed much about that. I just don't think the Pittsburgh Steelers are an improved football team without him.

[swissvale72]

I'm writing to you from my seaside paradise in Prince Edward Island, on land fronting the Gulf of St. Lawrence that I bought and built on 18 years ago, with the US dollar worth $1.50 CDN. Married to Mrs. Swiss 39 years...she merited a chapter of her own in The Manifesto. What a contrast. Yesterday, I sat on my deck that sits atop my seawall (to battle erosion) and drank beers all afternoon in the sun, gazing at a sandy beach, not a soul on that beach all afternoon....no one!!

OK Swiss, it’s official...I fucking hate you! I really fucking hate you!!!


Oh...and don’t underestimate the joys of retirement. I’ve been retired since March...waking every morning and realizing I don’t have to go to work, or anywhere else, is every bit a joyful as a Steelers Super Bowl victory. Yes...it is that fucking great!

Thanks Jobus!! I get together every year with four other teammates/fraternity brothers from college, having all graduated in '76 or '77. Of the five of us, I'm the only one working full-time. I'm also one of only two of us without serious health problems. The one guy retired last December 27. He had a heart attack on December 28. All of them retired primarily because they were sick of their boss, doing shit they didn't want to do, etc.

My deal, I don't have the pressures necessarily of ownership, but I do whatever the fuck I want. I've not had a boss for the 33 years I've had this job. I report to a non-profit Board of Directors, been there longer than any of them, and these are all people with their own jobs that really don't want to pay a whole lot of attention to what goes on within the organization. I have my share of bullshit to contend with, don't get me wrong, but it's sort of on my own terms.

[K_C_]

You're not a message board pariah, Swiss.

You're just dead wrong about this.

You keep acting like there was anybody within the Steeler organization that somehow caused MC Hammer Jr to want to leave. Caused him to throw shit off balconies almost killing little kids. Caused him to shove baby mamas to the ground.

Pssst.....this was 100% on MC Hammer Jr. The Steelers didn't want him to leave. This walking, talking COCK forced his way outta Dodge.

He'll regret it. He already regrets it if you read his social media. He seriously said he wants to come back to Pittsburgh to be honored .

I'll be there, if at all possible. Throwing more batteries at this piece of shit than were thrown at Dave Parker in Three Rivers, decades ago.

BELIEVE IT. I loathe that piece of shit.

Let's say all that's true, KC. I've not really fussed much about that. I just don't think the Pittsburgh Steelers are an improved football team without him.

We didn't make the playoffs with this stat whore last year.

In the NFL, shit can turn around quick, when you have a future first ballot Hall of Famer QB, a Pro Bowl RB and a Pro Bowl WR....plus a shitload of other pieces.

I also see the defense taking a MAJOR STEP FORWARD.

....as I have said over and over to you.....it ain't gonna be hard for this team to be better than they were last year. Most of their issues, if you were watching closely, were due to chemistry.

Something was very wrong with that team, from the jump. Watch how shit changes for the better.....in a month.

[Lynch]

Godamnit I want a fucking Italian sub now.

[Steelafan77]

We don't always agree with Steelers related stuff Swiss, that said, I've always respected your fandom as I do with any subscriber on this site. In My Opinion you couldn't be banned. Every thread you post in becomes the most popular, lol. I have hesitated from the start of this very in-depth discussion because of the usual snarky/snide insults. I don't quite understand the unprovoked insults/attacks posters sometimes author. You either have to agree with one side or the other. God forbid it's both. Or neither.
Anyway, I agree with both sides of the argument. I think this team will be shockingly better without those drama queens. There's only room for one drama queen on the roster. I also agree that Conner coughed up potential success with his two very unforgettable fumbles. Every time I watched turnovers benefit the other team whether from Conner, Roethlisberger, Grimble or Smith-Schuster I grew impatient, resentful and angry eventually expecting those same results as the season progressed. Was not disappointed in those terms. Was very disappointed in that, that [2018] Steelers team allowed the rats to catch and ultimately over take them for the division resulting in their dismissal from the postseason. All we can do now is root for our Steelers to succeed in their 2019 campaign as we do every new campaign.

Go Steelers!

Side Note: Finally, I do agree with lynch for a first time. That italian sub sounds darn good.

[jewelsongs]

Swiss, I spent the summer of 75 during college staying with my sister and brother-in-law in Swissvale on the corner of Lacrosse and Edgewood. We had quite a few Battleships for dinner (when we weren't going to Vincents). Drank quite a few Iron Citys at Ryans Pub. It sounds like we ran in similar circles.

I retired 8 years ago, and do some consulting work when I feel like it to pay for my vices. I live at the beach in California, so life is something I never imagined would be possible. How did asshats like us end up like this?

[zeke5123]

Everyone goes on about the fumbles but I’m more worried about the unclutch drops. The Jags game I. Particular where Connor dropped one of the easiest GW tds in a long time.

Dude gets tight.

[Suwanee88]

I need a shout out from Swiss on this site. It’s the only thing that makes Steeler Fury tolerable.

[COR-TEN]

Oh give me a fucking break. You're not a pariah. Annoying and stubborn at times, but who isn't.

One of the reasons I visit this forum is because of the 'burgh connections. You provide that and much more. I've traveled to swissvale often in my youth, but never had a battleship. My loss. I was on the other side of town.

But we're all steeler fans. Bleeding iron and steel, billowing smoke from a Bessemer converter, and built by hard working americans and immigrants alike. Reminds me of a high school friend who after a first semester at an out of state college, got into a scrap with another student and proceeded to pound him with a chair while exclaiming "Don't fuck with me. I'm from Pittsburgh!!"

Nice post.

[swissvale72]

Liking these posts.

*'77, way to put alot of this into context. Let's be clear. I love the Pittsburgh Steelers. Mrs. Swiss always tells me that I love the Steelers more than I do her, to which I say, "I've known them alot longer." Other thing I tell her is..."You're not from Pittsburgh; you'll never understand." That sort of supports COR-TEN's closing statement below. It's why it upsets me to see them losing such top-end talent.

*Jewelsongs....I might have made one of the battleships you ate. I had summer jobs in Swissvale at the Triangle Bar, Swissvale Boro (as a garbage man) and at the Union Switch & Signal (simply known in Swissvale as "the Switch." My dad's shop, Tony's Barber Shop, was on Roslyn Street, down from the Boro Building, up from the Moose on the corner of Woodstock. Yeah, something else how we somehow landed on our feet, did okay.

*Zeke....goddamn good point about Conner and catching the ball (juxtapose that with Scunge's stat-based commentary on the other OP). I remember that game well...thinking Conner had blown it. It was Ben to AB though on the next play that saved Conner from being the goat. I also remember that post-game, Ben was all about JuJu...said nothing about AB. I remember thinking that was a bit odd.

*Suwanee....good seeing you, my friend!! I remember your stories about Bob Pompeani, et al.

And COR-TEN, certain words I like, and use whenever possible. "Ilk," is one. "Pariah" is another.

[R_S]

Oh, no, I'm not drunk

Id have bet the house on a good buzz.


Tell your kid to download the everydollar app and make a goddamn budget

[swissvale72]

Oh, no, I'm not drunk

Id have bet the house on a good buzz.


Tell your kid to download the everydollar app and make a goddamn budget

Nope! Wasn't a beach day at all so wasn't drinking.

Here's the story I always tell about my boy. ''Anthony,' I say, 'you're a certified public accountant, and you can't manage your own money!'

'Dad, ' he says, 'how many times do I have to tell you? My job has nothing to do with MANAGING money, much less my own!'

[Havoc]

And I'll not retreat from the position that had he not fumbled against the Browns, Steelers definitely win.

Here is a better position... The Conner fumble opened the door for the Browns. Leave it at that. A lot had to go right for the Browns after the fumble and a lot had to go wrong for the Steelers. It did.

The Steelers sucked the final 7 minutes of regulation.

Our defense gave up a 2 play 55 yd TD drive to tie the score.

If Boz makes the would be game winner in OT, we aren't even having this discussion.

We played in a typhoon. The Steelers as a team fed us a shit sandwich. End of story.

[swissvale72]

And I'll not retreat from the position that had he not fumbled against the Browns, Steelers definitely win.

Here is a better position... The Conner fumble opened the door for the Browns. Leave it at that. A lot had to go right for the Browns after the fumble and a lot had to go wrong for the Steelers. It did.

The Steelers sucked the final 7 minutes of that game.

Our defense gave up a 2 play 55 yd TD drive to tie the score.

If Boz makes the would be game winner in OT, we aren't even having this discussion.

We played in a typhoon. The Steelers as a team fed us a shit sandwich. End of story.

That's a reasonable position, Havoc....that fuckin' door was about double-locked though, sealed the fuck shut, before the Conner fumble.

And yes, with no due respect to the Hall Monitor and his regular admonishments about our convos sometimes being "results-based" or words to that effect...it's true that the results drive the convo. Yes, Boz makes that kick, the Conner fumble is long-forgotten. Ben doesn't make The Tackle against Indy in the '05 playoffs and Jerome Bettis is Bill Buckner.

[K_C_]

And I'll not retreat from the position that had he not fumbled against the Browns, Steelers definitely win.

Here is a better position... The Conner fumble opened the door for the Browns. Leave it at that. A lot had to go right for the Browns after the fumble and a lot had to go wrong for the Steelers. It did.

The Steelers sucked the final 7 minutes of that game.

Our defense gave up a 2 play 55 yd TD drive to tie the score.

If Boz makes the would be game winner in OT, we aren't even having this discussion.

We played in a typhoon. The Steelers as a team fed us a shit sandwich. End of story.

That's a reasonable position, Havoc....that fuckin' door was about double-locked though, sealed the fuck shut, before the Conner fumble.

And yes, with no due respect to the Hall Monitor and his regular admonishments about our convos sometimes being "results-based" or words to that effect...it's true that the results drive the convo. Yes, Boz makes that kick, the Conner fumble is long-forgotten. Ben doesn't make The Tackle against Indy in the '05 playoffs and Jerome Bettis is Bill Buckner.

Ben didn't turn the ball over 5 times against Indy and Bettis was in like his 47th season as a starter.

That loss would have been 100% laid at the feet of The Bus.

Conner fucked up. Once, in a game he was otherwise unbelievable.

Ben turned it over, all by himself, 5 times.

[oldsteelerfan]

Godamnit I want a fucking Italian sub now.

[oldsteelerfan]

I don't post very often (didn't under steelhope either) but i read most everything on Fury.

And Swiss even if you give zero fucks.....I've always enjoyed your missives... even those of the pariah ilk.

[swissvale72]

I don't post very often (didn't under steelhope either) but i read most everything on Fury.

And Swiss even if you give zero fucks.....I've always enjoyed your missives... even those of the pariah ilk.

Thanks old… And I know it will come as no surprise for me to say that there is an in extricable link between the missives I send and giving zero fucks.

Oh
KC… Really doesn't matter how many games that bettis played, how many pics ben threwthat the Steelers had already overcome, Or whether it was James Connor's first start or his 50th. If he does not fumble, there is no boz field goal attempt And the Steelers win that game.

I really don't believe that any of you ass hats have any doubt that the Steelers win that game had James Connor not fumbled with seven minutes left in the 14 point lead If you do… You're fucking delusional!! There's that word again. LOL

[Suwanee88]

I don't post very often (didn't under steelhope either) but i read most everything on Fury.

And Swiss even if you give zero fucks.....I've always enjoyed your missives... even those of the pariah ilk.

Agree....

There are several on this site that are must read for me.....Swiss, KC, B2B, Perch, Drama to name a handful- Looking forward to the season boys.

[SteelWIll]

well, just finished the 10hr drive back from the OBX to CT; guess i can go another 10hrs to get up to PEI in time for day break and early morning ales.....Also have a couple white styrofoam coolers full of Spanish Mackeral and Triggerfish fillets ready to grill.....and a 12 pack of Duquesne lager left over---takes like piss, but made in Latrobe and bought in Ligonier over the 4th...probably at the old Rolling Rock brewery....

[R_S]

Oh, no, I'm not drunk

Id have bet the house on a good buzz.


Tell your kid to download the everydollar app and make a goddamn budget

Nope! Wasn't a beach day at all so wasn't drinking.

Here's the story I always tell about my boy. ''Anthony,' I say, 'you're a certified public accountant, and you can't manage your own money!'

'Dad, ' he says, 'how many times do I have to tell you? My job has nothing to do with MANAGING money, much less my own!'

Have a cousin who is a CPA. She traded in her car for a brand new one about every 9 months it seemed. Filed for bankruptcy twice i believe. She is still a CPA. Not a real stable person in general. Just recently found out her daughter is stripping in Pittsburgh. So yeah.

[R_S]

well, just finished the 10hr drive back from the OBX to CT; guess i can go another 10hrs to get up to PEI in time for day break and early morning ales.....Also have a couple white styrofoam coolers full of Spanish Mackeral and Triggerfish fillets ready to grill.....and a 12 pack of Duquesne lager left over---takes like piss, but made in Latrobe and bought in Ligonier over the 4th...probably at the old Rolling Rock brewery....

I saw some CT plates while stuck in traffic returning from OBX Saturday. My drive went from 6.5 hours to 11.5 to get to Gettysburg. Hellish drive.

[Havoc]

Everyone goes on about the fumbles but I’m more worried about the unclutch drops. The Jags game I. Particular where Connor dropped one of the easiest GW tds in a long time.

Dude gets tight.

That drop bothered me more.

I think he'll be fine.

[SteelWIll]

RS, u obviously left TOO LATE...Getting out of Corolla is a bitch most times, but leaving post 9:00am is a disaster...

[R_S]

RS, u obviously left TOO LATE...Getting out of Corolla is a bitch most times, but leaving post 9:00am is a disaster...

Left around 730am. Didn't hit traffic until an accident closed both lanes on 64. was downhill from there.