1.) Luther Burden III 5’11 208 WR Missouri- “We can’t just ignore the plight of the inner cities. See the plight, kids? ‘BANG!’ Roll ‘em up!” Former homeless kid whose Game Day story of giving back to the youth of the east St. Louis community will surely attract Tomlin (moth to a flame). Burden’s stats took quite the tumble this year, but this YAC monger has a 5 star pedigree offering versatility that a creative OC could…ohhh wait…never mind.
2.) Alfred Collins 6’5 320 DT Texas- Big ‘sum bitch. Going to be tested tomorrow night by the dynamic duo of Quinshon Judkins and Trey Henderson. Go Buckeyes!!!
3.) Nicholas Singleton 6’0 227 RB Penn State- “Again, Drama???” Yep. Deep class of RBs but he’ll be a Steeler. The Irish defense wasn’t challenged against my ‘Dawgs anemic ground attack. Singleton and Kaytron Allen a much different animal. Tonight’s game SHOULD be a defensive slugfest, but I look for the crew from Happy Valley to prevail (barring yet another big game meltdown from Jimmy Franklin of course).
4.) Ozzy Trapilo 6’8 310 OT Boston College- “WTF is an Ozzy Trapilo?” I’m not sure exactly. I am sure that the Steelers’ offensive line is a hot mess as per usual. Lotta pre-Senior Bowl buzz around this Golden Eagle. Good -bye Oscar Meyer. Your baloney has a second name it’s P-A-T and YOU SIR, SUCK!
5T) Johnny Walker 6’3 255 EDGE Missouri- “What’s the difference between John Wayne and Johnnie Walker? Johnnie Walker is still killing Indians.” KING Henry?!?! He’s a dead man! MARK ANDREWS?!?! DEAD! LAMAR MVP JACKSON?!?! Dead. -ish. Wake the fuck up, Watt.
6T) CJ West 6’2 317 DT Indiana- In the words of the immortal Wilbur “Shooter” Flatch, “Now, boys, don’t get caught watchin’ the paint dry!” If only Tomlin would follow such sound advice. YOU SUCK, TOMLIN!
7) Kurtis Rourke 6'5 223 QB Indiana- “I know everything there is to know about the greatest game ever invented.” Yeah. So does Hoosiers Head Coach Curt Cignetti. Just ask him or “Google” him. Fantastic resurrection of a long dormant football program keyed by the one time top recruit in all of Canada. Former Ohio U Bobcat showed outstanding toughness playing through the season with a torn ACL. Doesn’t excuse subpar performances against the big boys Ohio State and Notre Dame, but he's well worth a day 3 flier for your QB starved Pittsburgh Steelers.
7) Jailin Walker 6’1 220 LB Indiana- “I ain’t no gizzard.” Nooo Buddy, you’re not a gizzard but Mike Tomlin is. Going to take a Hickory hoops type effort to beat them Ravens on Saturday night. Go Steelers!!!
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Rare snow day here in glorious Suwanee, GA tomorrow so my 5 straight days of playoff football are off to a fantastic start. Stay safe out there.
