1.) Kenyon Sadiq 6’3 245 TE Oregon- Named a Feldman Freak for his chiseled physique and ’41.5 vertical. Damn Duck runs like a deer. This lethal weapon could be quite the chess piece for a creative OC like Mike McCarrr…well… I’m in wait and see mode on all that. In the meantime, this kid will generate a lot of buzz up in Indy starting February 23rd-March 2nd at Lucas Oil Stadium.
2.) R Mason Thomas 6’2 249 EDGE Oklahoma- “Are you stupid or somethin? We don’t need a freakin’ edge, Drama. We’ve got TJ Watt!” Yeah, you can have him. I’ll take the guy who actually runs. Won’t find a faster get off and INSANE hustle than this Sooner. Proud carrier of the “Bad Motherfucker” wallet, this dude arrives with BAD intentions. Watch and learn, TWatt. Watch and learn.
3.) Germie Bernard 6’1 202 WR Alabama- Thanks for ruining Saban’s dynasty, Deboer! Ya barrel of monkey nuts! Good lord what a disaster. Anyway, going to take a much needed break from my Ted Hurst fetish and take a stab at my guy Germie. Followed (unwisely) Coach D to the deep South from the Pacific Northwest. Creative, fun player that will put the ball on the ground, but kid’s a gamer. Work your magic, Mike! -ish
3.) Treydan Stukes 6’2 200 CB Arizona- “AGAIN?” Not my fault this versatile DEFENSIVE chess piece is all over the ‘Net. I read, then I write.
3C.) Jalen Kilgore 6’1 211 S South Carolina- “AGAIN??” Hell yeah. This Cock hits hard. Might not get former Cock teammate Nick Emmanori’s perfect 10 RAS score, but this kid is poised to light up Indy and opposing receivers.
4.) Nick Barrett 6’3 322 DT South Carolina- Big, wide, Cock to jam up the middle. My HOPE is new DC Pat Graham is an innovator like the great Luther Van Dam and not a round hole/square peg kinda guy. Get Keeanu Benton out of the middle of my gawd damn defense!
4C.) Febechi Nwaiwu 6’4 326 OL Oklahoma- Pending Ron approval. PFF’s top graded interior pass blocker (91.6). Won the Pat Tillman Award given to the player at the East/West Shrine game who best exemplifies character, intelligence, sportsmanship, and service. Versatile piece of clay for new OL guru James Campen to mold into our next All-Pr--Ohhh never mind.
5.) Bryce Lance 6’3 209 WR North Dakota State- Ahhh the Dakotas. I’ll get up there someday. Oh yeah, Trey’s brother. Once upon a time there was 1st round buzz around this kid. WTF happened? Athletic, high wire act well worth a day 3 dart throw.
6.) Owen Heinecke 6’1 228 LB Oklahoma- -“When I grow up…I’m gonna play for Minnesota State.” “That’s great, kid.” “I mean I know you’ll be dead but that’s where I want to play.” Sooner boomed for only one year, but damn what a year. Heat seeking missile plays the game with no regard for his body or human life. Team leader who convinced HC Brett Venables to start him this year by showing him video of his practice performance. Played 15 minutes of lacrosse so wasn’t granted his 4th year of eligibility. Damn NCAA. Lousy thugs.
6C.) Ahmari Hardy 6’0 195 CB Georgia Tech- Here’s a violent nickel that will just knock the ever loving shit out of you. Sting ‘em indeed.
7.) Daniel Hishaw 5’10 220 RB Kansas- Ever heard of him? Me neither. Feldman freak boasts ’43.5 vert, but alas will not get to show off his impressive measurables at Indy. The Steelers won’t sign Super Bowl MVP Kenneth Walker (they should), but they damn sure should sign someone.
7C.) Jack Strand 6’5 230 QB Minnesota State Moorhead- “Coach, when will the madness end?” “This isn’t madness, Dauber, this is sports.” Unless you count the TV show, Coach, then hell no I’ve never seen a Minnesota State game, but I do read. I read this Strand fella impressed at something called the American Bowl. Rumor has it Jackie boy is adept at making AA-Rod his hazelnut latte’s just the way he likes them. Yaaa buddy.
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Should Aaron Rodgers in fact return to your beloved Steelers, a draft like this would give him viable weaponry he severely lacked under his boy Tomlin. I’m no McCarthy fan, but an offense with DK, Sadiq, Germie (Hurst), MAYBE Jauan Jennings and ohhh IDK a Super MVP RB then at least the Steelers offense would be watchable, MAYBE even enjoyable (R-E-L-A-X. I know K-h-a-n will do nothing more than patch holes with bargain basement vets).
