1T.) Emmanuel McNeil-Warren 6’2 202 S Toledo- If I recall correctly, Charles Demar will not be attending the 1st ever NFL draft in Pittsburgh, but I’m guessing he will applaud this pick (after trading down) from the comfort of his couch. Steelers’ secondary is a shit show. The entire team is flatter than Ariana Grande’s chest. One of my favorite players in the draft, this BIG PLAY Rocket will liven things up nicely. Dig him.
2T.) Chase Bisontis 6’6 330 OG Texas A&M- Using my rd 1 trade down capital to trade back up to draft the leader of the “Maroon Goons.” Massive guard boasts elite pass protecting skills. This monster in the middle is getting some 1st round buzz of late so if he slides into round 2 I’m all for an aggressive trade up.
3.) Julian Neal 6’2 208 CB Arkansas- “AGAIN?” Did I mention the secondary is a shit show? Joey Jr. needs a running mate and it sure as hell can’t be another tackling averse cb like Asante Jr.
3.) Antonio Williams 5’11 190 WR Clemson- Well I hope you're happy. I haven’t mocked this smooth mover yet. Been a minute since Clemson has produced an NFL quality WR. STFU Dabo! Ohh I’m still signing Jauan Jennings the minute free agency starts (your Steelers won’t) , but now the TBD Steelers’ QB has some viable weapons to throw to.
3C.) Emmett Johnson 5’11 200 RB Nebraska- Once upon a time my guy Jimmy Johson traded up with your Pittsburgh Steelers to steal the great Emmitt Smith. Well this Emmett ain’t him, but he’s a versatile pass catching monger who will send crappy ass Kaleb Johnson up to Canada in short order. YOU SUCK, Tomlin!
4.) Cole Payton 6’3 233 QB North Dakota State- Before you say, “AGAIN?” hear me out. Ok I have nothing profound to say other than Will Howard ain’t it.
4C.) Bryce Lance 6’3 209 WR North Dakota State- “AGAIN???” Ok I deserve that, but only mocking Lance again because I forgot to pair him with his Bison QB last time around.
5.) Dontay Corleone 6’2 318 DT Cincinnati- Mocked the Godfather LAST year, but not yet this year. As STD said there could be some medicals that cause this kid to slide. I’ll take a day 3 dart throw on this interior disruptor.
6.) Joe Royer 6’5 250 TE Cincinnati- Buckeye transfer proved to be quite the weapon on what was a fun Bearcat offense this past season. “Roooooy?” Nah that’s pretty fucking stupid.
6C.) Bryce Boettcher 6’2 232 LB Oregon- One of the better athletes in the draft having previously been drafted as a center fielder by the scumbag Houston Astros organization. But this pick is simply an opportunity for me…to tell you…my second free agent signing after Jauan Jennings is MYYYY guy, LEO Chanal soon to be late of the Chiefs. Elite hammer in the run game your beloved Steelers are severely lacking. Make it happen, Art, Ya cheap fucking bastard.
7.) Mason Reiger 6’5 250 EDGE Wisconsin- Lazy Steelers scouts will no doubt find their way back to Madison or Iowa City. I’m admittedly intrigued by the idea to trade Alex Highsmith (not so much Herbig) but the return better be a helluva lot better than Tanner Mckee (what in the ever loving fuck??? Somebody actually got paid MONEY to write that dumb idea).
7C.) Avery Smith 5’10 CB Toledo- Pittsburgh loves to shoot off some fireworks. I’m sure draft night will be no different. Zambelli and Drama shooting off Rockets dahn at the Point. Started the draft with a Rocket and ending it with a Rocket. Feisty fella racked up 23 forced incompletions the past two seasons at Toledo. Go Mud Hens!
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Still a week away from the Combine. Hang in there fellas.
