Unicorns

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Steeldrama
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Unicorns

Post by Steeldrama » Fri Jul 17, 2020 11:57 pm

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1.) Hamsah Nasirildeen 6’4 220 S Florida St- A unicorn is defined as a mythical creature, someone AMAZING who is hard to catch or simply a very rare find. This particular unicorn is the rarest of rare having lined up at both free and strong safety, corner, as well as linebacker. Alpha male whose unique skill set will surely infatuate Coach Mike Tomlin.

2.) Israel Mukuamu 6’4 205 CB South Carolina- Kids, 6’4 corners don’t grow on trees. I’ve read the Dick Sherman comparisons. Nope. This Cock is better. My guy Israel here has allowed only 19 receptions in 286 snaps vs SEC receivers. Dominated my Bulldogs and Jake Fucking Fromm tallying 3 picks and a TD in an upset win at Athens last season. Stud. I dig him, but will forever despise Jake Fromm.

3.) Najee Harris 6’2 230 RB Alabama- ‘Backs this size aren’t supposed to lead the FBS in receiving tds (7). Just a freakin horse who I’m predicting joins Mark Ingram and Derrick Henry as Nick Saban’s 3rd Heisman Trophy winning running back. Roll Tide!

4.) Michael Penix 6’3 218 QB Indiana- A unicorn curveball here. No bigger rarity in the NFL than a bonified stud lefty qb. Steve Young leaps to mind. Snake Stabler, Vick, Jared Lorenzen (Just seeing if you’re paying attention). Hell, Tua is a righty. His crazy ass dad made him a lefty. Anyway, This Penix kid isnt just another hard throwing southpaw. He’s a modern day dual threat, athletic marvel. Just a redshirt sophomore but has the look of becoming the very rare Hoosier quarterback poised to succeed in the NFL. Excitement on a stick he is.

4C) Charles Snowden 6’7 235 LB Virginia- Not since the Mad Stork has the league seen a unicorn with the length of this Snowden fella. Able to play multiple positions in the front 7, this former hoops star led college football with 9 pass break ups and 11 passes defended last season. Tomlin does so love him some VA area codes.

5.) Daniel Faalele 6’8 400 OT Minnesota- Coach Fleck is going to need a bigger boat. Serious unicorn here. Human beings just don’t come much bigger than this ‘sum bitch. Truly a unique athlete who got his start playing rugby. Good luck getting around this behemoth. Kid literally blocks out the sun.

6.) Drake Jackson 6’2 300 OC Kentucky- “Got to love the Drake.” “The Drake is good.” Once upon a time the Steelers struck gold with former 'Cat and HOFer, Dirt Dawson. Surely Steelers scouts noticed the Drake's ALL SEC center talents while "scouting" the ever plodding Bennie Snell...the anti-unicorn if you will.

6C) Robert Cooper 6’2 332 DT Florida St- Admittedly, I don’t know shit about unicorns, but I do know the nose tackle position is going the way of the dinosaur. Marvin Wilson gets the headlines, but ‘Coop here causes his share of chaos and mayhem in the middle of a talented Seminole defensive front.

7.) Josh Imatorbhebhe 6’2 215 WR Illinois- What if I was to tell you a former student of mine runs a sub 4.4 and boasts an unheard of ’47 vertical leap. Would that be something you might be interested in??? Kid could dunk a basketball in the 5th grade. Unreal athlete. ‘Ol Josh here has a touch of the crazies, but a smart kid that enrolled at USC as a 4 star recruit from right here in Suwanee, GA. I’ve taught a few kids that have gone on to play major college ball, but Josh would qualify as my personal unicorn should he be the first to make it to the NFL.

Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Not all players have to possess rare, unique traits, but hopefully the Steelers are working to uncover their share of unicorns.


Nick Markakis on Astros: "Every guy over there needs a beating."

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bradshaw2ben
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Post by bradshaw2ben » Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:26 am

Josh Imatorbhebhe all-name team, as well

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Post by Jobu » Wed Jul 22, 2020 1:05 am

Michael Penix
Oh dear gawd! :o
If the Steelers draft him, they could have Penix and Kuntz...
:lol: :lol: :lol:

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bradshaw2ben
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Post by bradshaw2ben » Wed Jul 22, 2020 3:06 pm

Mike Penix

(say it a couple of times out loud)

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