1.) Shemar Stewart 6’6 290 DE Texas A&M- “Again, Drama?” I like who I like. Standing from his customary end zone spot at Ladd Peebles Stadium, hopefully the keen (bug) eyes of Mike Tomlin won’t miss this straight out of central casting former 5 star beast.
2.) Armand Membou 6’3 325 OT Missouri- Buzzy name of late. I see 6’3 and I think guard, but draftniks seem to think this kid can stick at tackle. Arm length and Senior Bowl practice week will tell the tale. “Where Colin was right?” Cowherd may be an arrogant jagoff, but he’s correct to (repeatedly) criticize Tomlin’s inability to build an OL and running game. Geezus, fix this shit already!
3T) Savion Williams 6’5 225 WR TCU- I haven’t seen TCU play since the ass whippin my Dawgs put on them winning Kirby his 2nd straight Natty (Thanks Todd). This tall, ATHLETIC mover would be a nice complement to Crazy George. Led all WRs with 43 missed tackles. Yes please.
4) Chris Paul 6’1 235 LB Ole Miss- “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Leave it Winnie the fucking Pooh to capsulize my feelings on Mike Tomlin. Anyway, don’t let the name fool you, “Pooh” will smack ya! “Muuuuth” on offense. “Poooooh” on defense. Yinzer orgasm.
4T) Devin Neal 5’11 215 RB Kansas- Another Kansas Comet? More moves than Mae West type. Excitement on a stick. Home grown talent that helped turn the Jayhawks program around. Zero career fumbles. Neal, Warren, and sign my guy Nick Chubb (UGA homer I am) now you’ve got a backfield.
5.) Jordan Phillips 6’3 320 DT Maryland- “Any Terps I need to know about this year, Dino?” “STFU dad the Flintstones are on.” Redshirt sophomore a surprise early draft entry. Some nice talent in the Shrine Bowl this week.
5T) Cobee Bryant 6’0 175 CB Kansas – Mom Bryant may have misspelled “Kobe” but this slick corner has that Mamba mentality. Kid isn’t big, but his willingness to play the run stands out. Man, there a lot of holes on this team. Hopefully, Deuce dusts off the coffers and spends some FA dollars this offseason (dream on, Drama, ya dumbass).
7.) Keondre Jackson 6’3 215 S Ilinois State- Senior Bowl bound safety has the size and sideline to sideline pursuit that our talentless secondary sorely lacks. Man, I hope Omar can Khan someone into taking Minkah off our hands.
7) Taylor Elgersma 6’6 213 QB Laurier- Hell no I’ve never seen a Golden Hawks game, but I do read. I read this Canadian Heisman winner has a serious hose (take off eh hoser). Maybe Tomlin will stop gawking at the trenches long enough to notice this kid down in Mobile.
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Just trying to get the jump on some of the buzzy names on the All Star circuit. Much more interesting to me than the NFL playoffs. Thanks Tomlin.
