1.) Derrick Harmon 6’5 310 DL Oregon- “Again, Drama?” Hey, it’s not just me. I THINK it was Steelers’ owner Art Rooney II that once again mandated that stopping the run was his top priority. Shoot the messenger indeed.
2.) Jonah Savainaea 6’5 330 OT Arizona- “Get on in here and let the big bear get his paws on you.” Big 'ol Grizzly bear right here. Mean, STRONG, ‘sum bitch can stick at OT with those ’34 arms and vice grip hands. They shit-can Pat Meyer yet?
3T) David Walker 6’2 260 EDGE Central Arkansas- Hell no I’ve never seen a Central Arkansas game, but I do read. I read this sack artist is going to be a household name after Senior Bowl week. Steelers won’t trade TJ Watt, but they can do better than Alex Highsmith.
4.) Jack Bech 6’2 215 WR TCU- Cowherd called us the Pittsburgh “Stalers.” He’s not wrong. Sooo fucking stale and unwatchable. Until Tomlin and Art’s archaic approach to football is gone, I’d rather wait on skill players. Anyway, Jack here’s older brother Tiger was killed in the New Orleans terrorist attack. That’ll put a chip on your shoulder. Of course I forgot to record the Senior Bowl practice, but I read this Bech kid was a day 1 star.
4T) Jacob Parrish 5’10 198 CB Kansas State- FAST, physical, sticky corner that will be tested this week down in Mobile. Spend some free agent dollars on the secondary. We all know Tomlin can't develop a corner to save his life.
5.) DJ Giddens 6’1 212 RB Kansas State- What's in the water out in Kansas? Jayhawks and Wildcats have some players, y'all. DJ here an ELUSIVE fella that can “squeeze through tight holes.” Sounds like a fit for our dogshit OL to me.
6T) Nash Hutmacher 6’4 310 DL Nebraska- “The Polar Bear” is a four time South Dakota state wrestling champion. Recruited as an offensive tackle moved to DL where he’s excelled as team captain of the once famed Black Shirt Defense. Grew up a Steelers’ fan. Yeah, me too.
7.) Jalin Conyers 6’4 265 TE Texas Tech- Don’t sleep on the Red Raiders in 2025. Flush with oil money, these dudes are throwing some cash around. Oh, the Conyers kid. Said to be turning heads this week at Shrine practices. “Lay off Muth, Drama, he gives great headache.”
7) Jalen McLeod 6’1 247 LB Auburn- Another one to watch down in Mobile. Kendrell Bell vibes with this App State transfer. Big, PHYSICAL dude that terrorizes the line of scrimmage. Yes please.
7.) Hunter Dekkers 6’3 225 QB Iowa Western- This kid didn’t know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, when to walk away, let alone when to run. The center of the big gambling investigation 3 years ago at Iowa State, this gambler found the secret to survivin’ was at some place called Iowa Western. Said to impress at the Hula bowl, maybe he’ll get a chance with a qb starved team like your Pittsburgh Steelers. Another year of Justin Fields or Russ? Thanks Deuce, ya fuckin’ jagoff.
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Any updates y’all have from the All-Star practices this week are greatly appreciated.
