James Harrison took away his kids' participation trophies

[Legacy User]

Nope. But I'll bet he's the only parent on the team making the point this way or any other way. If you can find the literature that says this will even improve chances of success at ANYTHING, then I'm happy to acknowledge this was possibly the "right" way to go about it. Otherwise, it goes in the bucket of "sounds great, but in reality hurts more than helps."

"You're not special, look at the special thing I just made you do." That's exactly the message. And he can get away with it, to a degree, because he's James Harrison. Any other parent would be quickly dismissed as a total asshole.

[Legacy User]

1. generally...from the very small world he puts on social media...deebo seems like an ok dad....mostly...
2. if your an elite....anything....realize alot of it was luck...particularly in the beginning
3. if you hit it big and come from damn little....dont try to ....toughen up....or.....invent phony narritives for your kids....its dumb...harmful....and most of all .....not reality
4. those trophys were given to and belong to the kids....you have no right as a parent to do anything with them.....if you truly ever come to the conclusion that you need to take something away from your kids to....teach....them something....realize your a shitty parent who should probably be able to commuincate and influence your children better....if not....taking away things wont work on a large scale....
5. most people....dont win....most people....dont reach the top......the ones that have 99 percent of the time.....got lucky....had it handed to them....comitted some evil to get there....

6. participation....connection....community....friendship.....are all FAR more important than the fleeting glory of winning.....particularly for kids

7. most people who have ok memories from childhood....damn few are about winning alone....most are about having fun with friends....

[V DUB]

1. generally...from the very small world he puts on social media...deebo seems like an ok dad....mostly...
2. if your an elite....anything....realize alot of it was luck...particularly in the beginning
3. if you hit it big and come from damn little....dont try to ....toughen up....or.....invent phony narritives for your kids....its dumb...harmful....and most of all .....not reality
4. those trophys were given to and belong to the kids....you have no right as a parent to do anything with them.....if you truly ever come to the conclusion that you need to take something away from your kids to....teach....them something....realize your a shitty parent who should probably be able to commuincate and influence your children better....if not....taking away things wont work on a large scale....
5. most people....dont win....most people....dont reach the top......the ones that have 99 percent of the time.....got lucky....had it handed to them....comitted some evil to get there....

6. participation....connection....community....friendship.....are all FAR more important than the fleeting glory of winning.....particularly for kids

7. most people who have ok memories from childhood....damn few are about winning alone....most are about having fun with friends....

I take shit away from my kids every time they show disrespect the process of how it was earned. My boy has his own laptop, flat screen, XBox, DS & countless other shit. He's 8. He fucking threw his controller at the tv over a game, so I took his Xbox away. That's when I tried to show him my trophies Jeemie, to teach him about earning shit & he scoffed at them saying Dad I already have more than you do.

For the record my in laws are the one's buying him all of this shit. I try to make him earn it, unless it's a holiday. They have deep pockets & try to buy affection. I don't believe in that. And yes, i've talked with them about it. My point is, it's a tool as a parent that used to hold weight. Not so much anymore.

[Legacy User]

1. generally...from the very small world he puts on social media...deebo seems like an ok dad....mostly...
2. if your an elite....anything....realize alot of it was luck...particularly in the beginning
3. if you hit it big and come from damn little....dont try to ....toughen up....or.....invent phony narritives for your kids....its dumb...harmful....and most of all .....not reality
4. those trophys were given to and belong to the kids....you have no right as a parent to do anything with them.....if you truly ever come to the conclusion that you need to take something away from your kids to....teach....them something....realize your a shitty parent who should probably be able to commuincate and influence your children better....if not....taking away things wont work on a large scale....
5. most people....dont win....most people....dont reach the top......the ones that have 99 percent of the time.....got lucky....had it handed to them....comitted some evil to get there....

6. participation....connection....community....friendship.....are all FAR more important than the fleeting glory of winning.....particularly for kids

7. most people who have ok memories from childhood....damn few are about winning alone....most are about having fun with friends....

I take shit away from my kids every time they show disrespect the process of how it was earned. My boy has his own laptop, flat screen, XBox, DS & countless other shit. He's 8. He fucking threw his controller at the tv over a game, so I took his Xbox away. That's when I tried to show him my trophies Jeemie, to teach him about earning shit & he scoffed at them saying Dad I already have more than you do.

For the record my in laws are the one's buying him all of this shit. I try to make him earn it, unless it's a holiday. They have deep pockets & try to buy affection. I don't believe in that. And yes, i've talked with them about it. My point is, it's a tool as a parent that used to hold weight. Not so much anymore.

Van....
truly mean this helpfully.....not trying to be a wiseass.....the issue isnt throwing something at the tv....its why are you so frustrated?....how can i help you learn how to act appropriately?....breaking things is wrong....heres why etc etc.....remember....your the adult...teach....demonstrate......

that said....unacceptable inappropriate behavior has consequences....but you gotta remember good behavior too...and it shouldnt be an olympic threshold....

punishment really doesnt do much without teaching


deebo took away something that didnt belong to him....that wasnt related to inappropriate behavior......on the surface.....real shitty parenting......

[Legacy User]

This thread's great and all, but the people I really want to get parenting advice from are STD's parents.

[V DUB]

1. generally...from the very small world he puts on social media...deebo seems like an ok dad....mostly...
2. if your an elite....anything....realize alot of it was luck...particularly in the beginning
3. if you hit it big and come from damn little....dont try to ....toughen up....or.....invent phony narritives for your kids....its dumb...harmful....and most of all .....not reality
4. those trophys were given to and belong to the kids....you have no right as a parent to do anything with them.....if you truly ever come to the conclusion that you need to take something away from your kids to....teach....them something....realize your a shitty parent who should probably be able to commuincate and influence your children better....if not....taking away things wont work on a large scale....
5. most people....dont win....most people....dont reach the top......the ones that have 99 percent of the time.....got lucky....had it handed to them....comitted some evil to get there....

6. participation....connection....community....friendship.....are all FAR more important than the fleeting glory of winning.....particularly for kids

7. most people who have ok memories from childhood....damn few are about winning alone....most are about having fun with friends....

I take shit away from my kids every time they show disrespect the process of how it was earned. My boy has his own laptop, flat screen, XBox, DS & countless other shit. He's 8. He fucking threw his controller at the tv over a game, so I took his Xbox away. That's when I tried to show him my trophies Jeemie, to teach him about earning shit & he scoffed at them saying Dad I already have more than you do.

For the record my in laws are the one's buying him all of this shit. I try to make him earn it, unless it's a holiday. They have deep pockets & try to buy affection. I don't believe in that. And yes, i've talked with them about it. My point is, it's a tool as a parent that used to hold weight. Not so much anymore.

Van....
truly mean this helpfully.....not trying to be a wiseass.....the issue isnt throwing something at the tv....its why are you so frustrated?....how can i help you learn how to act appropriately?....breaking things is wrong....heres why etc etc.....remember....your the adult...teach....demonstrate......

that said....unacceptable inappropriate behavior has consequences....but you gotta remember good behavior too...and it shouldnt be an olympic threshold....

punishment really doesnt do much without teaching


deebo took away something that didnt belong to him....that wasnt related to inappropriate behavior......on the surface.....real shitty parenting......

Appreciate the advice, but my kids are doing ok. He got voted class president by his peers, I didn't know there was a thing in 2nd grade. He's a good, polite boy & he's well respected in his class, I like to think that's a by product of the values I taught him. My daughter is shy, but she's a sweet heart, everyone wants to be her best friend. They're both surfer kids & as such I taught them to respect the environment, people no matter culture & mother nature. They're doing fine. My boy wants to hit Teahupoo for a vacation, I told him there's no fucking way. He said once he's 18 I can't tell him what to do & he's right. It's only natural for kids to lash out at their parents. I only hope I instill enough value & smarts that he doesn't do stupid shit to get himself killed. You're not going to stop kids from doing what they want, your best bet is to talk & educate them about the dangers.

As far as it relates to JH, we don't know the circumstances, so it's not fair to judge like I said earlier. His bad ass public image makes fans like us think that's how he treats his kids. I don't believe that for a second.

[JJT07]

With Harrison on this one. My daughter got a dumb participation trophy, I didn't take it away from her, but did explain she didn't earn it and that in reality trophies are earned by winning whatever sport, event, etc you are participating in, not for showing up.

And the idea that 99% of people that reach the top are "lucky" is laughable.

[Legacy User]

With Harrison on this one. My daughter got a dumb participation trophy, I didn't take it away from her, but did explain she didn't earn it and that in reality trophies are earned by winning whatever sport, event, etc you are participating in, not for showing up.

And the idea that 99% of people that reach the top are "lucky" is laughable.

They also work hard. It seems like luck sometimes, but that's because no one ever sees the hard work they put in. I don't think Tiger Woods was born to golf- he was born to golf AND he spent an ungodly amount of time at it.

My 5 year-old is in swim team (we have a 6 & under age class). Ever seen a "6 year-old" swimmer with a 6/30 birthday? So, being basically 2 years older than my kid, there is NO amount of "hard work" that is going to make him that big and fast. Accordingly, I can expect that for his first few years swimming, he's really competing against himself, and I need to find coaches who recognize that and reward that. He loves to swim, why would I deny him the fun of racing for a time? Why would I make it not fun by insisting he try and work hard toward the futile goal of being as big and fast as someone he just won't be as big and fast as?

And yeah- that kid he can't beat was, in fact, lucky. He was born on the right day of the year. And he'll reap all the rewards of being in the "elite" group of swimmers for at least the next 5-6 years, and maybe beyond that, depending on the coaching he gets and a bunch of other stuff. Butterfly effect working for him at its finest. I suppose you could say that the event winning ribbons that 6 year old racked up over the year are "earned", but you'd be lying to yourself and to him.

I don't even save my son's participation ribbons. He'll learn soon enough that they don't mean anything and who cares? Why even bring it up with him? I do save his little "popped time" dogtags, because that is his physical memento that says he went faster than he ever has before. And at his age, just teaching the concept of trying to go faster is kind of difficult

[Legacy User]

With Harrison on this one. My daughter got a dumb participation trophy, I didn't take it away from her, but did explain she didn't earn it and that in reality trophies are earned by winning whatever sport, event, etc you are participating in, not for showing up.

And the idea that 99% of people that reach the top are "lucky" is laughable.

1. Those born with genes that set them up for unlocking more potential with more ease if they work at it: luck.
2. Those born into environments that allows talent to be fostered: luck.
3. Those born to parents that encourage and foster talent and good habits that enable 1 and 2: luck.

Some will only have 1 and defy great deficiency in 2 and 3. These are few.

Of course people who make it to the top by and large work their asses off and earn it. The circumstances that allow for them to be able to work hard to do well for themselves? Luck. It ain't all luck, but much chance goes into it. Willful ignorance to deny it.

This is the problem of those who think justice means that those who play fair and win should get all the spoils. They suppose ability is equally distributed for all. Those who think we are all created equal are suckers.

[R_S]

1. generally...from the very small world he puts on social media...deebo seems like an ok dad....mostly...
2. if your an elite....anything....realize alot of it was luck...particularly in the beginning
3. if you hit it big and come from damn little....dont try to ....toughen up....or.....invent phony narritives for your kids....its dumb...harmful....and most of all .....not reality
4. those trophys were given to and belong to the kids....you have no right as a parent to do anything with them.....if you truly ever come to the conclusion that you need to take something away from your kids to....teach....them something....realize your a shitty parent who should probably be able to commuincate and influence your children better....if not....taking away things wont work on a large scale....
5. most people....dont win....most people....dont reach the top......the ones that have 99 percent of the time.....got lucky....had it handed to them....comitted some evil to get there....

6. participation....connection....community....friendship.....are all FAR more important than the fleeting glory of winning.....particularly for kids

7. most people who have ok memories from childhood....damn few are about winning alone....most are about having fun with friends....

This is a losers mentality. "woooaaaa is me, why work hard to be the best because its just luck anyway". Truly pathetic.

[Legacy User]

I think participation trophies kill the cool factor of earning one. I still have my little league championship/all star trophies. Granted, they're in a box at my moms house but if they'd been participation trophies I was given each season regardlless they'd be occupying a land fill right now. The "glory" of winning is long forgotten but the memory of accomplishing something with the other kids still means something to me to a degree. They are a time capsule of sorts.

Give the other kids participation t-shirts or something. Trophies are for closers.

[V DUB]

He gave them back. Now THAT I don't agree with. Stick to your guns.

http://triblive.com/mobile/8930663-96/t ... rison-says