Brandon Mockshell

[Steeldrama]

Here’s where my head is at now that we’ve reached the 3/4 mark of the 2016 season.

Offensively, I’m happy that LaDarius Green has graced us with his much needed presence. However, the disappearance of Sammie Coates from the offense is of concern. Are his fingers still busted or is he in Mikey’s doghouse? I know the odds on Martavus Bryant ever returning to the Steelers and picking up right where he left off are slim, but dammit a man can dream can’t he? So here’s my thought for today:

The Jets just got their asses handed to them last night by the Colts. They will be in rebuild mode this off-season. So my guess is they’ll cut bait with high priced players like Brandon Marshall and Ryan Fitzpatrick. Selling them on the idea of winning a Super Bowl, I sign them up on the cheap to plug holes on the offense. Fitzpatrick to hold the clipboard and Marshall would be a quality veteran #2 WR who would give Ben a quality option opposite AB and as a person with some mental issues, he could serve as a mentor to my guy Martavus Bryant…should he ever again don a Steelers’ jersey.

P.S. Please sign Leveon Bell and AB to a long term contracts (With matching no gay-ass dancing clauses).

Defensively, I’m in a much better place than I was after the Dallas debacle. The less I see of Jarvis Jones the better. I’m convinced that Keith Butler may in fact be the best coach on the team and that includes Mike Munchak. I still don’t think he’s near done implementing his modern day defense hell bent on causing chaos and mayhem. Don’t panic Keith, I’m here to help.

1.) Adoree’ Jackson 5’11 185 GAME CHANGER USC- I’m guessing I lost half of you already but please hear me out. We’re all really excited about Butler playing the rookies, Artie Burns and Sean Davis. Me too. Kids look like studs. BUT…. what if….we add another young stud to the secondary? Not just a stud, but a field flipper, a weapon, a true game changer. Jackson would be to the defense what AB is to the offense. The Steelers would go from the worst secondary to the NFL’s best young secondary in just two short years! No sale? Oh well I tried.

2.) DeMarcus Walker 6’2 273 DE Florida St- Here’s a kid that could be a reeeeeally interesting chess piece for my guy Keith Butler. Not only can he cause chaos off the edge, but he can cause mayhem from a D-tackle position as he showed getting one of his four career sacks vs Florida last week. Some sort of a Four Horsemen d-line of Heyward, Tuitt, Walker, and the Grave Digger would be down right nasty.

3.) TJ Watt 6’4 243 EDGE Wisconsin- This kid was mentioned on the main forum this weekend as JJ Watt’s “douchebag” younger brother. Still don’t understand that comment. All I see is an all-out war daddy who brings it on every effing play. He may be new to the position, but once he figures it all out watch out! I’ll take 100 TJ Watts over Jarvis EFFING Jones any day of the week. Watt still hasn’t declared for the draft, but if he does I’ll take the gamble on the "douchebag."

4.) Josh Harvey-Clemons 6’4 228 SS Louisville- I know I’m repeating myself but this kid is the real deal. A Kam Chancellor clone if there ever was one. Another piece for Butler to move around his chess board. This former 5 star Georgia recruit can play in the box or lay guys out deep in the secondary. Just say no to drugs bro.

4C). Montravius Adams 6’3 309 DT Auburn- Another repeat Drama? Hell ya! Kid can cause chaos inside. Make it the Four Horsemen +1. This “grand larceny” type selection is day 2 material currently getting no respect from the CBS toolbags.

5.) Hunter Dimrick 6’3 272 EDGE Utah- With the pornstache this kid may look like a “douchebag” but like TJ Watt this kid is another fiery, no-quit, quarterback killing War Daddy. He may have a bigger motor than Watt which is really saying something. Put these two bookends together and let the bodies hit the floor!

6.) Keionta Davis 6’3 270 EDGE Chattanooga-Another Edge player Drama? Well I couldn’t decide between Dimrick and Davis so I’m taking them both. As we’ve painfully learned the hard way here in Steeler Nation, you can’t have enough edge rushers. I want the front 7 to be just wave after wave of Chaos and Mayhem!

7.) Jayon Brown 5-11 220 Hybrid Linebacker UCLA- Having spent over 30 years at Linebacker U, I’d say UCLA DC Tom Bradley would give this “fatbacker” a ringing endorsement. Brown came to UCLA as a safety then made the full-time switch to LB after Miles Jack got hurt. In his first ever game at middle linebacker this kid recorded 18 tackles against Colorado. Yep, I’ve got a mini-obsession mocking these hybrid types. At worst, this kid will be much needed tackling machine on special teams.

7C) Psalm Wooching 6’3 231 OLB Washington- Speaking of special teams, this entire team needs a shot of crazy. Can you imagine the look James Harrison would give this crazy bastard if he literally breathed fire in the Steelers locker room as he’s done at UW? Sure to become instant cult hero with the fans, I can hear the chants of “WOOOOOOOO” after every big hit from this wild Samoan.

Thanks as always for reading. Bowl season is almost here. Stay patient my friends!

Pseudo Roster after this mock:
Offense:
QB: Ben and the Amish Rifle. Get a kid to groom in 2018
RB: Bell, Deangelo, UDFA (Eff the Frenchman)
WR: AB, Brandon Marshall, Martavus Bryant, Eli Rogers, Sammie Coates, DHB
TE: Ladarius Green, The Outlaw, Xavier Grimble
OL: Same dudes
Defense:
DL: Tuitt, Hargraves, Heyward, DeMarcus Walker, Montravius Adams, Ricardo Matthews
OLB: Waves of TJ Watt, Hunter Dimrick, Keionta Davis, Bud Dupree (?) and Chickillo. Harrison???
ILB: Timmons, Shazier, Vince, Jayon Brown, Psalm Wooching, maybe the Temple kid
Secondary: Adoree’ Jackson, Artie Burns, Willie Gay, Cockrell, Sean Davis, Josh Harvey Clemons, Mitchell, maybe Golson kid

[Legacy User]

This would be amazing

I'm guessing they will select as always a player or 2 along the OL and a WR. Marshall would be nice, but we know the chances of that happening are slim to none LOL Bryant is a question mark, so I'm thinking a wr around the 3rd round.

[jeemie]

We need to draft Psalm Wooching just so we can hear a deafening sound from New Haven, CT as R O N's head explodes.

[bradshaw2ben]

James Harrison is saying he would like to play at least two and perhaps three more years. Who am I to say no?

You have some good names on there, as always.

[cop1211]

Why pay for Fitz he sucks. Other than that I like it.

[Steeldrama]

Fitzpatrick is not a very good starting qb but not many better options for a veteran backup capable of filling in short term for the obligatory Ben injury. Smart guy that might be able to share some insights with Ben as opposed to Laundry who just stares off into space praying Ben doesn't get hurt so he can keep stealing a paycheck.