Hick Hop Mock

Mock drafts, college sports news, college football
Steeldrama
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Joined: Tue Sep 24, 2019 6:44 pm

Hick Hop Mock

Post by Steeldrama » Sun Mar 20, 2022 7:38 pm

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1T) Daxton Hill 6’0 195 S Michigan- “It was summertime in Northern Michigan” One Robert James Ritchie AKA “Kid Rock” was born in Romeo, Michigan not far from the Big House. Didn’t see that Tombert took him out to dinner, but the duo was at Hill’s Pro Day. Hopefully ‘ol Dax here doesn’t smoke funny things but will try different things to help upgrade the Steelers’ defense.

2) Skyy Moore 5’10 195 WR Western Michigan- One Marshall Bruce Mathers AKA Eminem, who grew up in Warren Michigan, doesn’t want you m’fers to forget about Dre. Steel Drama doesn’t want you m’fers to forget double Y Skyy was Dino’s qb at Shadyside Academy (Word to your mother).

3.) Greg Dulcich 6’4 248 TE UCLA- “Rollin sunset women with a bottle of Becks.” Kid Rock packed up his game and headed out west, but the frugal, lazy Steelers’ scouts will miss out on Dulcich’s game since they of course won’t travel out west. I guess they don’t want to be a Cowboy, baby. Can’t imagine why not. Anyway, at 21.8 mph this Dulcich fella can do some serious “Hollywood and Vine-in”

3T) Darian Kinnard 6’5 325 OL Kentucky- “The Sun is shining on Kentucky” Kid Rock wants to be your Johnny Cash, but Darian Kinnard here is Dolly Parton’s cousin. Call it a tie? Texas does indeed have a whore house in it. Lord have mercy on our souls.

4C) Matthew Butler 6’4 295 DL Tennessee- Hell with the Tennessee mountain top, there ain't nothing like Nashville. Anyway, I don’t do karaoke let alone in a double wide. I’m actually a terrible shot, but I will name drop this versatile Vol.

5T) Bryan Robinson 6;1 210 RB Alabama- Y’all probably think Bama fans sing “Sweet Home Alabama” all summer long, but it’s really Alabama’s “Dixie Land Delight” that stirs up the Bryant-Denny crowd. Not sure where I was going with that other than B-Rob would be an outstanding complement to his former ‘mate, Najee Harris.

6T) Decobie Durant 5’11 190 CB South Carolina St– “Put some D’s on that bitch” Nope not a rap by either Bob nor Marshall. Heard it on an Entourage episode and found it to be a most catchy tune. Anyway, Double D Durant here tore up his Pro Day with a 4.38 40. Good day 3 dart throw.

7) Britain Covey 5’8 180 WR Utah- “Will Smith don’t gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well I do so fuck him and fuck you too” Given his Mormon roots, I’m quite sure ‘ol Brit here isn’t the next “Slim Shady” but scouts reportedly asked this tiny fella to "please stand up". Named after his Grandfather Steven’s missions to England, I’m quite sure Brit will use those "7 habits to become a successful person" should he not beat out newly signed Gunner Olszewski for the vacant return man gig.

7) Adam Anderson 6’5 235 EDGE Georgia- Now this guy’s definitely shady (and kinda slim by EDGE standards). “We ain’t nothin’ but mammals, some of us cannibals (allegedly).” Read a blurb that Anderson’s lawyers are trying to get his case thrown out before the draft in effort to clear his name. Even if cleared, the stigma attached to rape is no joke, but hard to ignore 4.5 40, 39 vert, and an 11’1 broad. Some team will take the late round gamble on AA, but chances are it won’t be Tombert.

Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Clearly I know nothing about rap or Kid Rock or Eminem but every now and again their songs sneak their way onto my usual playlist. Damn Pandora.


Nick Markakis on Astros: "Every guy over there needs a beating."