1.) Amarius Mims 6’7 340 OT Georgia- “THERE IS NO TOMORROW!” I wish Tomlin and my beloved Steelers had Apollo’s fighting spirit. Tomlin be all mopey Rocky, “Let’s do it tomorrow.” Lazy piece of shit. Oh, the Mims kid. How many mocks have you read that have him going to the Steelers? Yeah, me too. Highest ceiling of ANY player in this draft. There I said it.
2.) Kamari Lassiter 6’0 180 CB Georgia- “Hey boy! Hey Boy! After I crucify him, you’re next!” “Just stay out of my face, chump.” Swagger on a stick. THAT was Apollo Creed and THAT is Kamari Lassiter.
3T) Roman Wilson 5’11 193 WR Michigan- “Be a thinker, not a stinker.” Sorry Apollo, those words of wisdom don’t apply to Uncle Artie here. Giving new Steelers’ OC Arthur Smith a new weapon is like giving my dad a new cell phone. Zero clue what to do with it. Only Roman Artie knows is the one that ships him his hard on pills. Still, Tomlin said to dig this uncoverable scUM.
4T.) Dominick Puni 6’4 323 OC Kansas- “Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed, and if I can go that distance and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.” Creed Humphrey is an ALL PRO. Mason Cole is just another bum from the neighborhood. “MUUUUUTH!” Ugh.
4T) Justin Eboigbe 6’4 292 DE Alabama- “Spoken like a true asshole.” Chubs was no Apollo Creed, but he still had some solid advice for Happy. My words of wisdom haven’t changed. No more bottom feeder hole fillers. Spend that money on a big ticket free agent or two. Cut the gutless Larry O and poach sack daddy Justin Madubuike from the Rival Ravens.
5T) Jarvis Brownlee 5’11 183 CB Louisville- Voted best secondary player at the Senior Bowl. Looks like a good fit for the nickel. Secondary needs a huge influx of talent AND coaching (Good luck with that one).
6T) Evan Williams 6’0 203 S Oregon- Yet another player that received rave reviews down in Mobile. Looks like a fun little town. I’m too old for Mardi Gras chaos, but I may have to go check that place out.
6T) Jaheim Bell 6’2 244 HB Florida St- A fun chess piece for a young, inspired, creative OC…ohh wait… Never mind.
6) Khristian Boyd 6’2 320 DT Northern Iowa- We interrupt this nonsensical flurry of Senior Bowl standouts to select perhaps THE standout of the East-West Shrine Bowl. Absolute wrecking ball. Steelers gotta build their depth and talent on the lines, get stronger up the middle. Just not nearly enough draft capital to upgrade all the needs on this barren roster.
7) Jackson Sirmon 6'2 235 LB Cal- “STOP THE FIGHT!” Sorry Mrs. Creed, in hindsight Rocky should’ve thrown the towel, but great fighters don’t know the meaning of the word quit. Maybe Tomlin and the Steelers organization have thrown in the towel, but like the “Master of Disaster” the “King of Sting” Apollo Creed, I will never quit. I will continue to press on mocking quality players to my beloved Steelers like "THERE IS NO TOMORROW!" RIP Carl.
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the players you like and those you don’t. Another Senior Bowl in the books. Bring on the combine!
