No grades
Just random thoughts
AFC East
1.)‘ol School’s Patriots
1) Drake Maye QB North Carolina
2) Ladd McKonkey WR Georgia
2) Roger Rosengarten OT Washington
4) Cam Hart CB Notre Dame
5) Dylan Laube RB New Hampshire
6) Eric Watts DE UConn
7) Bub Means WR Pitt
FORE?!
Pat McAfee regular, Darius J. Butler, played golf Super Bowl week out in glorious Las Vegas with the Pats’ new signal caller, Drake Maye. D-But loved the Drake. Raved about his character and sense of humor out on the course. I’m only lukewarm on all these 2024 quarterbacks, but one trait I dig about Maye here is loyalty. Kid allegedly turned down a $5 million Nil deal to remain in Carolina blue. Good stuff, Drake.
No Relation to Phil:
I read a twitter-blurb questioning Ladd McConkey’s ability to make the over the shoulder catch. Really dude? Tis the silly season I guess. Anyway, was there a coach worse at identifying WR talent than Bill Belichick? Thankfully for my guy Ladd here, Bill’s history. Hopefully, with the help of ‘ol School’s top two picks, Alex Van Pizza can resuscitate a long dormant Patriots’ offense.
Watch it, Bub:
Don’t dismiss Pitt’s Bub Means and his impressive 9.47 RAS score. Great Rd 7 dart throw here by ‘ol School.
“Where the hell’s the records room?”
‘ol School was wise to trade up to secure Dr Rosenpenis’ services. UW’s Roger Rosengarten has enjoyed a meteoric rise up the draft board this postseason.
Rule #76:
“Play like a Champion” indeed. Notre Dame's Cam Hart a bigger corner that performed well down in Mobile. Deep corner class, but an outstanding value in round 4.
Sniping Monger:
Nooo, you didn’t get me this year ‘ol School, but one of a few running backs I was targeting for my Packers was your multipurpose, small school stud Dylan Laube. His 295 receiving yards vs Central Michigan were the 4th most in the CAA history. Kid is fun on a stick. Dig him.
2.) Gonzo’s J-E-T-S, JETS! JETS! JETS!
1) Brock Bowers TE Georgia
3) Cooper Beebe OG Kansas St
4) Nathan Thomas OT Lousiana
6) Frank Crum OT Wyoming
7) Javon Morgan S FAMU
7) Carter Bradley QB South Alabama
You had me at Brock:
Nothing else need be said about Gonzo’s draft. IF…BIG IF…Brock Bowers AND Aaron Rodgers stay healthy, the Jets will make the playoffs. Book it, Dano.
Nice Lettuce:
Daniel Jeremiah and what’s left of the NFL Network had their version of combine fun with Frank Crum’s mullet, “business in the front, party in the back.” Oh so witty. Come back, Mayock!
3.) Pabst’s Bills
1 28 Adonai "AD" Mitchell, WR, Texas
2 60 Dewayne Carter, DT, Duke
4 119 Kris Abrams-Draine, CB, Missouri
4* 133 Kitan Oladapo, S, Oregon State
5 144 Matt Goncalves, OT, Pittsburgh
5 160 Brennan Jackson, EDGE, Washington State
5 163 Fabian Lovett, DT, Florida State
6 200 Curtis Jacobs, LB, Penn State
6 204 Nick Samac, C, Michigan State
7 248 Cody Schrader, RB, Missouri
A Vote for Arch:
Two-time National Champion, AD Mitchell and his 4.34 40/39.5 vert/11’2 broad will quickly unseat a fading Stephon Diggs as Josh Allen’s top target. AND after watching Longhorns’ QB Quinn Ewers squander the deep ball talents of both Mitchell and Xavier Worthy, ‘ol Sark MIGHT want to consider giving Arch Manning a shot sooner rather than later.
“That’s How a White Man Runs the Football!”
Me, SteelDrama, gifted Pabst the second of his two Missouri Tigers. Dig me some Cody Schrader, but I followed my own blind UGA loyalty opting for Kendall Milton late round 7. You’re welcome.
A Blue Ribbon for Pabst:
Probably Pabst’s best effort since joining the annual board mock. Ohh he reached a round or two for Dwayne Carter, but in a draft bereft of defensive tackle talent I understand the logic.
3T.) 77’s Dolphins
1.) JACKSON POWERS-JOHNSON OC Oregon
2.) KRIS JENKINS DL Michigan
4.) MYLES COLE EDGE Texas Tech
6). RYAN FLOURNOY WR Southeast Missouri St.
6) . JAHEIM BELL TE Florida St.
7) JAYLON CARLIES SS/ILB Missouri
Mikey McDaniel:
Such an odd little fella, but I dig that he doesn’t fit the mold of the stereotypical meathead football coach. His speed merchant offense faded down the stretch, but that Dolphins’ team was just crippled by injury. – Ahh the fragility of the modern athlete. So annoying. Anyway, the Dolphins are a salary cap mess so kudos to ’77 for focusing on the trenches. JPJ will be an instant starter as will Kris Jenkins Jr after the departure of stud DT Christian Wilkins.
Ahoy Palloi:
“Where did you just come from, a scotch ad?” Ryan Flournoy a diamond in the rough in this deep WR class Another jump out of the gym type (39.5 vert/11 broad), Flournoy shined down in Mobile. Jalen Waddle a fragile little fella. Depth is needed.
Swiss Army Knife:
I dig versatility. No doubt the little mad scientist Mikey McD will find a creative role for 6th round steal Jaheim Bell.
AFC North
1.) Fractal’s Bungles
1) Johnny Newton DT Illinois
2) Malachi Corley WR West KY
3) Javon Foster OT Missouri
3 ) Theo Johnson TE Penn St
4.) Caelan Carson CB Wake
5.) Xavier Thomas DE Clemson
6.) Braiden McGregor DE Michigan
6.) Jase McClellan RB Alabama
7.) Demani Richardson S Texas A&M
Johnny’s Bananas
My guy Fractal, “Just a high-strung simian trying to make it in the human world.” Yearly one of the best drafters in the board mock, Frac didn’t disappoint astutely adding my favorite DT to a Bengals’ defense that fell off a cliff last year.
Snipe City...
…And Fractal’s the mayor. I know it’s just round 6, but I was targeting scUM’s Braiden McGregor and his late season sack surge to help bolster my Packers’ pass rush. High motor kid that will be a day 3 steal.
Can of Corn:
I never saw the movie, but the name Malachi to me is synonymous with corn. GREAT rd 2 pick for the Bengals whether they keep Tee Higgins or not. 27 reps??? I see you, Malachi!
1T.) B2B’s Pittsburgh Stillers
1.) Amarius Mims, OT, Georgia
2.) TRADE: Brandon Aiyuk, WR
3) Hunter Nourzad C Penn State
3) Jarvis Brownlee, Jr. CB Florida State
4) Qwan'tez Stiggers DB Toronto Argonauts
6)Antonio Alfano DE/EDGE Lackawanna
6) Rasheen Ali RB Marshall
7 Jonah Laulu DT Oklahoma
Tomlin Twin:
The acrobatic power forward that is Keon Coleman, was my preferred, more realistic option for the Steelers at 51. However, it’s hard to fault draft czar B2B for giving up a late 2 for Aiyuk who should command no worse than a 1st rounder here in the real world. Grand theft.
“Great Wall of Georgia:”
Much like UGA stud Broderick Jones last year, Amarius Mims has arguably the highest upside of any OT in the draft. Like A LOT of Georgia players, Mims battled the injury bug during his time in Kirby’s progrum. Assuming he can stay healthy, the Steelers COULD have a dynamic OT tandem for the next decade (I’ll settle for winning a playoff game).
Norad:
Saw the “WOPR” on a field trip over to the computer museum. Made me think of the movie War Games which made me think of Norad which made me think of Nourzad YOUR new Steelers’ center. A Shrine Bowl standout, hopefully he works out as well as former Steeler and Nittany Lion, Jeff Hartings.
Twitter-verse:
Don’t believe everything you read. Apparently, the crazy pro day workout numbers reported for former Bama top rated recruit Antonio Alfano were a farce. His 5 star pedigree will likely get him drafted, but this kid has been on a helluva journey from T-Town to Lackawanna. Wherever the hell that is.
Ode to Eric Swann:
Another unusual journey here for Toronto Argonaut Quantez Stiggers. Seeking to be just the fourth non college player ever drafted, Stiggers pro day was apparently well attended. Go get him Khan!
3) TB’s Rats
1.) Kiran Amegadjie, OL, Yale
2.) Jonah Elliss, EDGE, Utah
3.) Javon Bullard, S, Georgia
4.) Mason McCormick, IOL, South Dakota State
4.) Andru Phillips, CB, Kentucky
4.) Will Shipley, RB, Clemson
5.)Tyreek Johnson, DE, South Carolina
5.) Jacob Cowing, WR, Arizona
7.)David White Jr., WR, Western Carolina
7.) Dallin Holker, TE, Colorado State
7.) Deiyantei Powell-Woods, OL, Central Michigan
Ode to Calvin Hill:
Grant’s dad was the last Yale player to be drafted in Rd 1 (1969). TB’s slight reach for an injured Yale OT at the end of round 1 was the only tiny blemish on his best ever SteelerFury mock draft performance.
Hog Head:
"I have to go home and poo....Pretty sure I'm going to need a bath after." Three-time Jackrabbit captain and back-to- back National Champion, Mason McCormick was slated to be my pick in round 3. However, I connected the dots of BC lineman Christian Mahogany to former BC head coach and new Packer DC Jeff Hafley so decided to pivot on my pick. You’re welcome, TB.
You’re welcome Part II
Being the transplant Georgia homer that I am, it was painfully difficult to pass on TWO TIME NATIONAL CHAMPION, Javon Bullard, late in rd 3 in favor of a kid who goes by the nickname of “Rabbit.” But, I like who I like.
Even a busted clock is right…
Will Shipley? Ran a 4.39?? I didn’t see that kinda speed on the field, but this poor man’s Christian McCaffery should be a nice complement to new Rat, Derrick Henry.
Speed I did see:
The Arizona Wildcats were a fun watch last season. WR Jacob Cowing plays the game with a proverbial rocket strapped to his ass. GREAT day 3 dart throw.
4.) 43’s Stains
2) Jeremiah Trotter Jr LB Clemson
3) Jonathan Brooks RB Texas
5) DJ James CB Auburn
6) Anthony Gould WR Oregon
7) Erick All TE Iowa
Chubbin’
Former Georgia GREAT Nick Chubb is reportedly on schedule to resume his HOF career after what looked like a career ending knee injury. Brutal. 43 grabbed arguably the top rated rb of the draft, albeit one also recovering from an ACL so the Browns’ could be a little light in the RB room to start the season.
His Daddy He Ain’t:
I kinda hope he didn’t, but I have little doubt Tomlin dined with Jeremiah Trotter Jr following his visit to Death Valley (Really it’s Anderson, SC. Guess they think Death Valley sounds cooler).
All Aboard:
When in doubt, draft an Iowa TE. Erick All might not have the immediate impact of Drama favorite Sam Laporta, but if he can stay healthy, “All” will be right with the world.
AFC South
1.) Cop’s Jags
1.) Quinton Mitchell CB Toledo
2) Troy Franklin WR Oregon
3) Trey Benson RB FSU
4) Dominic Puni OL Kansas
4) Tanor Bortolini OC Wisconsin
5.). SCB/S Malik Mustapha Wake- Appra po comp made by Cop to Erie PA’s Bob Sanders
6) Decameron Richardson CB Mississippi State
7) Jordan Jefferson DT LSU
Rocket Man:
Charles called his shot. Cop made Toledo’s Quinyon Mitchell the first corner off the board.
London Jaguars:
“SHAGUAR, BABY! YEAH!” Love me some overseas Sunday morning football. I’ve long wanted the Jags to bolt to London full time. Anyway, Jaguar-fast Tony Franklin ran the worst gauntlet I’ve ever seen, but provides a much needed homerun threat to FANTASY BUST Trevor Lawrence. Lousy thug.
Pisanos!
McAfee says “Pisano” but I grew up hearing “Pisan.” IDK. Anyway, Cop wisely went back to back Pisanos with Dom Puni and the Bortolini kid who broke Jason Kelce’s long standing combine record 3 cone time.
Dr Evil’s Henchman:
“My name is Mustapha, and I’m the man who will be killing you now.” Yep. That sounds about right for Cop’s guy Malik Mustapha. Grand larceny pick in rd 5.
2.) FPWL’s Nashville Titans
1) JC Latham OT Alabama
2) Mike Sainristil DB Michigan
4 ) Malik Washington WR Virginia
6) Josh Proctor S Ohio St
6) Austin Booker DE Kansas
6) Jalen Coker WR Holy Cross
7) CJ Hanson OC Holy Cross
7) Jordan Magee LB Temple
Vrabel’s Fable:
Well that didn’t end well. From Titans’ head man to a Browns’ consultant. Still, somewhere in dank, dark, desolate streets of Cleveland, Ohio I can’t help but think Mikey V would’ve loved JC Latham in a Titans uniform. RTR.
The Farmer and the Dell:
Picked up some Tank Dell vibes watching highlights of the tiny human joystick that is Malik Washington.
Temple Tough:
Jordan Magee has been wearing the single digit #6 since 2022. FPWL made a shrewd pick to close out his stellar draft class.
Holy Gordie Lockbaum!
Back to back Crusaders! A SteelerFury board mock draft first!
3T) STD’s Colts
1 Terrion Arnold DB Alabama
2 T’Vondre Sweat DL Texas
3 Isaac Guerendo RB Louisville
4 Tykee Smith DB Georgia
5 Ainias Smith WR Texas A&M
6 KT Leveston OL KST
7 Ulumoo Ale DL UW
Roll Damn Tide!
Converted safety Terrion Arnold is the perfect mix of physicality and ballhawk. Will be the Colts best defensive player the second he steps on the field.
RAS Addict:
Colts’ GM Chris Ballard is a HUGE RAS guy. Isaac Guerendo scored a near perfect 9.97 RAS. This one time Badger will in fact be a Colt.
Failed Snipe Attempt:
I commandeered B2B to broker a few trades so I could trade up in rd 2 to snipe T’Vondre Sweat from STD. Skunked hard. Selfish bastards.
3T) Ohio’s Texans
2)Edgerrin Cooper, LB, Texas A&M
2.) Keon Coleman, WR, FSU
3.) Sedrick Van Pran-Granger, C, Georgia
4.)Travis Glover, OT, Georgia State
4)Mekhi Wingo, DT, LSU
6) Shon Stephens, CB, Ferris St
7.) Javontae Jean-Baptise, DE, Notre Dame
7.) Willie Drew, CB, Virginia St
The Razor’s Edge:
Not AC/DC’s best effort, but Edgerrin Cooper will fit right in with Texans’ Head Coach Demeco Ryans fast and furious defensive front.
Prime Time, Prime Time:
Neon Keon is a human highlight reel, but more than that he’s another weapon for Stud Buckeye CJ Stroud.
Hyphen Hater:
Sedrick Van Pran-Granger. Dig him but enough of the multiple last names. GREAT kid and leader, but four words in a name is just way too self-important. Anyway, I thought the Texans were set at center with Juice Scroggins, but I applaud the perhaps subconscious effort to cockblock me from my guy late rd 3.
Joey Jr's Cousin:
Shonn Stephens will be a Steeler. You know it and I know it.
AFC West
1.) Greek’s Super Chargers
1) Rome Odunze WR Washington
2) Byron Murphy DT Texas
3) Max Melton CB Rutgers
4) Beaux Limmer OC Arkansas
5) Tanner McLachlan TE Arizona
6) Robert Horsey DT Southern Utah
7) Steele Chambers LB Ohio State
7 ) Tylan Grable OT UCF
Built in a Day:
If Cheatin’ Jimmy Harbs lands my guy Rome, words won’t be able to properly express my angst.
Billy Idol Just Stole Your Golf Cart!
And Greek stole stud Texas DT, Byron Murphy. Grand Larceny pick for a perennially underachieving Chargers’ defense.
Beltin’ Melton:
Bo’s brother Max can play. Boasting a 4.35 40 and 9.65 RAS score, Melton was another Greek STEAL.
More Than Just a Cool Porn Name:
Alpharetta GA’s own Steele Chambers can play. Buckeyes vs Bulldogs for the National Title. GAME ON, BITCHES!
2.) Ugandajoy’s Donkeys
1) Olu Fashanu OT Penn State
2) Bo Nix QB Oregon
4) McKinnley Jackson DT Texas A&M
4.) Brandon Dorlus DE Oregon
5) Beau Brade S Terps
5) Jared Wiley TE TCU
6) Chau Smith-Wade CB Wazzu
Houdini:
Auburn Bo Nix was the ultimate escape artist. Oregon Bo Nix was a record setting system QB. I’m a fan of both.
The Black Mike Gottfried:
James Franklin is a helluva recruiter but DAMN dude…WIN A MEANINGFUL GAME! The Olu kid is sliding a bit of late. Do YOUR Steelers strike?
Broken Record I Am:
Brandon Dorlus made potential top ten pick Taliese Fuaga his bitch. Saw it with my own two eyes I did. The Steal of Steals in Rd 4.
3.) Zabo’s Raiduhs
1) Jared Verse DE Florida State
2) Jarrian Jones CB Florida State
3) Renardo Green CB Florida State
4) Caedan Wallace OT Penn State
5) Luke McCaffery WR Rice
6) Joe Milton QB Vols
7) Hayden Hatten WR Idaho
7) Ajou Ajou WR Garden City CC
Ode to Bobby Bowden:
In what has to be a SteelerFury board mock draft first, Zabo went three straight Seminoles out of the gate. All three will help transform a forever leaky Raiders defense. Jones and Green in particular standout after shutting down Malik Nabers and Brian Thomas at the start of the glorious college football season.
Vaginas:
No bigger fan of college football (and vaginas) than yours truly. The tradition, the pageantry, all that crap. BUT what really chaps my ass is the now meaningless bowl games and the players who opt out of them. No bigger example than this year’s Florida State Seminoles. Scorned by the playoff committee, most of the ‘Noles starters opted out of the Orange Bowl against my Georgia Bulldogs. They got the ASS WHOOPIN they deserved. Pussies.
Albino Jackrabbits:
Ed’s son and Christian’s brother has made a very impressive transition from QB to WR. Don’t sleep on the potato eater Hayden Hatten. Another tall white kid that can play.
3T) Smith’s Chefs
1 Xavier Worthy WR Texas
3. Leonard Taylor DT Miami
3 Khyree Jackson CB Oregon
4 Walter Rouse OT Oklahoma
5 Gabe Hall DT Baylor
6 Jamari Thrash WR Louisville
7 Daijun Edwards RB Georgia
Big Game James:
No, Xavier Worthy is not related to James, but he and his record setting 40 time will prove to be a dynamic weapon for Patrick Mahomes.
Nuggies:
A nice bundle of developmental DTs in Taylor and Hall to help STUD Chris Jones cause mayhem(oh wait that’s All-State).
RBU:
Georgia has a long history of great running backs. I think y’all are sleeping on Daijun Edwards. Jump cut WARLORD!
NFC East
1) Perch’s Skins
1) Marvin Harrison, Jr. WR, Ohio State
2) Patrick Paul OT Houston
2) Jordan Morgan OT Arizona
3) Ja'Tavion Sanders, TE, Texas
3) TJ Tampa, CB, Iowa State
3)Trevin Wallace LB Kentucky
5) Bucky Irving RB Oregon
6) Jordan Travis QB FSU
Maserati Marv:
I was admittedly annoyed for a moment by the early curveball thrown at us with the 2nd overall pick. My preference is to keep it real. The Redskins will take a qb there. BUT, nothing wrong with going BPA since all these qbs are somewhat flawed.
Hog Heaven:
Perch wisely tapped into a historically deep OT class with his round 2 selections of Paul and Morgan.
Kentucky Woman…
…if she gets to know you. She will own you. So will UK’s athletic LB, Trevin Wallace (dig me some Neil Diamond).
Hook ‘em:
“Alright, Alright, Alright.” I think y’all are sleepin on JaTavion Sanders. Texas fans deserved a better playoff fate. Serious weaponry on offense. Get your shit together, Sark.
November 18th
Joe Theismann. Alex Smith. Former Redskin QBs suffered GRUESOME leg injuries on the EXACT SAME DAY 33 years apart. And what day did new Redskin, Jordan Travis, suffer his season ending leg injury? You guessed it, NOVEMBER 18th. Freaky shit right there!
2.) Jack’s Giants
1) Jayden Daniels QB LSU
2.)Braylon Trice EDGE Washington
4.)Delmar Glaze OT Maryland
4.) Calen Bullock S USC
4.) Devontez Walker WR North Carolina
5.) Josh Newton CB TCU
6.) Marcus Harris DT Auburn
6.) Charles Turner III C LSU
Skinny Danny Glover:
Eat a freakin sandwich, Jayden. Jack wisely pounced on the Heisman Trophy winner. Danny Dimes sucks goat balls.
Two Trailer Park Girls…
No, Braylon is not related to Obie Trice, and is also not a dynamic pass rusher, but this kid will BUST YO ASS!
Flag Football:
Calen Bullock will win DPOY when the NFL puts flags on instead of helmets. The 2023 USC defense may have been the worst Power 5 defense I’ve ever seen. Gawd Awful. Get your shit together, Lincoln.
Stickum:
After dropping anything and everything thrown his way at the Senior Bowl, Tez needs to give Erie PA’s own Fred Biletnikoff a call.
3) Ice’s Iggles
1.) Brian Thomas WR LSU
2.) Tyler Nubin S Gophers
2) Ruke Orhorhoro DT Clemson
4.) JaLynn Polk WR Washington
5) Sundiata Anderson DE Grambling
5) Mikey Victor CB Alabama St
5) Tariq Stewart OT North Carolina A&T
6) Miyan Williams RB Ohio State
Fantasy Alert:
With the addition of Saquon Barkley, I was already planning to take Eagles early and often, but WOW throw in Brian Thomas and JaLynn Polk to an already loaded offense? I wouldn’t put anything past Howie Roseman, but I THINK he’s going to address the defense and the trenches over more wideouts.
Bad ‘Dawg:
No, Not traffic menace Jalen Carter, he played well. But Jordan Davis has failed to live up to his lofty draft status. Ice was wise to hedge his bets with Ruke lots of syllables and his impressive 9.88 RAS score.
B2B Directional:
B2B, did you hack into Ice’s keyboard? Grambling? Alabama St? Jamain Stephens U? Dig the Victor kid. Big corner with some draft buzz.
4.) Korey’s Cowboys
1) Zach Frazier OC WVU
2) Zak Zinter OG scUM
3) Javon Baker WR UCF
5) Jackson Mitchell LB UConn
6) Andre Sam S LSU
7) Isaiah Davis RB South Dakota
“The Stylin! Profilin! Limousine Ridin! Jet Flyin! Kiss stealing, wheeling dealing, son of a gun!”
Love the state champion wrestling prowess of Korey’s top pick and future Steeler Zach Frazier.
Help Wanted:
CeeDee desperately needs a running mate down in Big D. Bama transfer Javon Baker fits the bill.
Poached ‘Rabbit:
I didn’t “Bag of dicks” you Korey because it was the 7th round, but you ruined my day 3 Jackrabbit motif by poaching South Dakota St stud Isaiah Davis. Lousy thug
NFC North
1.) Drama’s Packers
1.) Cooper Dejean CB Iowa
2.) Kool-Aid Mckinstry CB Alabama
2.) Junior Colson LB Michigan
3.) Christian Mahogany OG Boston College
3.) Dadrion Taylor-Demerson S Texas Tech
4.) Johnny Wilson WR Florida St
5.) Kristian Boyd DT Northern Iowa
6.) Garrett Greenfield OT South Dakota St
7.) Kendall Milton RB Georgia
7.) Cedric Johnson DE Ole Miss
“I hereby dedicate this building to…MYSELF”
I’m writin it, so I’m declaring myself the winner of the NFC North. Cooper Dejean was my guy and favorite player in this draft from the start. Tremendous athlete and FOOTBALL PLAYER. Kid will be an instant star. Stay healthy, Whitey!
Flight of the Condor:
Day 3 steal Johnny Wilson and his 7 foot…THAT’s 7 foot wingspan…will be a unique red zone weapon for the rapidly ascending, Jordan Love. The Pack is loaded with young skill talent. Watch out y’all!
Wascally Wabbit:
Brian Baldinger told me that “Rabbit” Taylor-Demerson is the best safety in this class. Sometimes I just like a little affirmation.
scUM:
It always pains me to draft Cheatin’ Jimmy Harbs’ guys, but man I dig me some 6’3 247 Junior Colson. He and Crazy Quay are going to just thump dudes.
Drinkin’ the Kool-Aid:
More than just a unique nickname, a GREAT kid and a helluva technician at the corner position. Couldn’t pass him up in rd 2 with the NFC North suddenly a pass happy division.
2T) Charles’ Lions
1.) Darius Robinson DE Missouri
2.) Roman Wilson WR Michigan
3.) Christian Haynes G Connecticut
5.) MJ Devonshire CB Pitt
6.) Omar Brown S Nebraska
6.) Trevor Keegan OL Michigan
7) Dallas Gant LB Toledo
First off the Bus:
Well, actually Lions’ head man Dan Campbell is a jacked dude in his own right, but Charles’ 1st round pick is just a chiseled beast who will pair well with scUM stud Aiden Hutchinson.
Roman Army:
Not exactly Franco’s Italian Army but I’ll work on it. Roman Wilson yet another scUM player that I like. Criminally underutilized weapon in Captain Khakis mundane, run first offense. Future Steelers’ head coach Ben Johnson will surely maximize Roman’s skillset.
Mason Rudolph’d:
Watch out for that helmet! Dig watching the trench battles during Senior Bowl week. A pissed off Jordan Jefferson channeled his inner Myles Garrett ripping off Christian Haynes helmet and then proceeded to hit him with it. Lousy thug.
Missing Person:
Have they found Cam Sutton yet? My guess is Charles would’ve drafted a corner sooner than MJ Devonshire had ‘ol Cam smacked his woman around a week earlier. How hard is it not to hit a woman? Seriously? Special place in hell for that.
2T) Mick’s Vikings
1) JJ McCarthy QB Michigan
1) Chop Robinson EDGE Penn State
4) Cedric Gray LB UNC
4) Tyler Davis DT Clemson
5) Brenden Rice WR USC
5) Brandon Coleman OL TCU
6) Elijah Jones CB BC
7) Miles Harden CB South Dakota
7) Kingsley Eguakun OC Florida
McCarthyism:
I don’t think JJ McCarthy is a 1st round talent, BUT rumor has it the Vikings are willing to move up into the top 5 to get him. Kudos to Mick for keepin it real.
Chop Suey:
The NFL is lookin’ hard for the next Micah Parsons. Chop Robinson has a similar athletic profile for his Happy Valley brethren. Excellent replacement for the departed Danielle Hunter.
“It’s Fried Rice, You Plick!”
Getting Jerry’s kid to team with former teammate Jordan Addison and of course Justin Jefferson a good day 3 move. Actually, a lot of good moves by Mick in this his best effort since joining the SteelerFury board mock.
B2B Hates Old Dudes:
Elijah Jones and his ’42 vert was a Packers’ DC Jeff Hafley connection I was looking to make on day 3, but damn that kid is Stetson Bennett old. Good pick. Dig him.
4) Shepp’s Bears
1) Caleb Williams QB Bears
1 ) Joe Alt OT Notre Dame
3 ) Chris Braswell EDGE Alabama
4)Drake Nugent OC Michigan
Painted Black:
I actually don’t care that Caleb Williams paints his nails or even if he cries to mommy after a loss. I don’t even care that he scored an insane 93 touchdowns the past two seasons. I do however care if he scored with some of those stunningly hot women in those Dr. Pepper commercials. Gooood-nessss!
ALTimatum
I like the Joe Alt selection. Protecting Caleb Williams will be a top priority. The Bears seem to have him set up for success unlike the previous regime did for new Steelers’ qb, Justin Fields. Not much volume this year for Shepp, but he made it count.
NFC South
1) Jebrick’s Falcons
1) Dallas Turner EDGE Alabama
2) Xavier Legette WR South Carolina
3) Justin Eboigbe IDL Alabama
4) Nehemiah Pritchett CB Auburn
5) Nelson Ceaser EDGE Houston
6) Tommy Eichenberg LB Ohio State
6) Christian Jones OT Texas
Grits Blitz:
Not since the days of John Abraham have the Falcons had a legit edge rusher. Dallas Turner and his 4.46 40 and 40.5 vert will hopefully produce a better result than former top ten bust Vic Beasley.
Bag of Dicks:
The first official 2024 SteelerFury board mock draft BOD was awarded to Jebrick after sniping B2B’s Cockcrush, Xavier Legette.
AJ has a question for ya, Jebrick:
Which white Buckeye linebacker does Tommy Eichenberg most remind you of? The answer is hopefully not Andy Katzenmoyer.
2.) Pity’s Saints
1)Taliese Fuaga OT Oregon St
2)Brandon Fiske DT Florida St
5) Jaylin Simpson S Auburn
5)Kalen King CB Penn St
5) Gabriel Murphy EDGE UCLA
5) Marcus Rosemy-Jack Saint WR Georgia
6) Frank Gore Jr RB Southern Miss
6) Spencer Rattler QB Cocks
7) Jaylen Harrell LB Michigan
Rat Bastards:
Like Jebrick above, Pity shunned my trade overtures, wisely opting instead to select RAS Warlord, Brandon Fiske. Talk to AQ Shipley about those short arms, amigo.
Carr Sucks Goat Balls:
Taliese Fuaga by all accounts will be a stud OT, but until the Saints find a legit QB they’re a franchise going nowhere fast.
Cock Doesn’t Suck:
Spencer Rattler a very buzzy player of late. It would shock me not if he sent crappy ass Carr to the bench in short order.
ENOUGH WITH THE HYPHENS!
Two time National Champion, Marcus Rosemy-Jack Saint would win you a game of Scrabble with all those freakin letters.
3.) Bingo’s Panthers
2.33 Payton Wilson, MLB, NC St.
2.39 Jalen McMillan, WR, Wash
3.65 Blake Corum, RB, Michigan
4.101 Audric Estimé, RB, Notre Dame
5.141 Matt Lee, C, Miami
5.142 Jalyx Hunt, Hybrid S/LB/Edge, Houston Christian
7.240 Judge Culpepper, DL, Toledo
And Bingo Was his Name-O
Welcome aboard, fella! Liked your first draft especially the local pick of RAS Stud Payton Wilson. Haters cite his medical history, but man that dude can chase down a ball carrier.
Estime’
Sounds like a cheap stripper perfume. Despite Audric’s poor 40 time that ‘sum bitch has some serious power. Ya didn’t snipe me per say, but I was eyeballing that big Irish bastard.
“Hey Whitey! Where’s your hat?”
Judge Culpepper didn’t get a free bowl of soup, but his selection did draw the ire of our resident MAC scout and proud Toledo alum, Charles Demar.
4.) Enigma’s Bucs
1)Graham Barton OL Duke
2) Marshawn Kneeland DE West Michigan
3)Dwight McGlothern CB Arkansas
3) Braelon Allen RB Wisconsin
4) Jaylan Ford LB Texas
6) Taymon Cooke WR NC ATT
7)Isaiah Johnson S Syracuse
Speaking of Charles:
I gotta thumbs down from CD on MAC RAS Stud Marshawn Kneeland but take comfort in the fact that you slotted him accordingly.
No Relation to Harris:
BUT Harris Barton went to UNC and Graham a rival Dukie (stuff that’s only remotely interesting to me I know). Barton is B2B’s top OC who would in theory be replacing another of his favorite centers in Robert Hainsey.
Badger Big Backs:
Once upon a time me and my boys saw Ron Dayne and Lavar Arrington do battle on a frigid, snowy, gawd awful windy day at Beaver stadium. Not enough whisky in the tin to keep me warm that day. Oh, the Braelon Allen fella. Youngest player in the draft could start right away in Tampa.
NFC West
1.) DP’s Cardinals
1) Malik Nabers WR LSU
1) Nate Wiggins CB Clemson
2) Laiatu Latu EDGE UCLA
3) Kamari Lassiter CB Georgia
3) Kamren Kinchens S Miami
3.) Maason Smith DE, LSU
4) Jermaine Burton WR Alabama
5)Cade Stover TE Ohio State
5)Marist Liufau ILB Notre Dame
6) Sataoa Laumea OG Utah
7.) Isaiah Williams WR Illinois
Big Name Hunter:
DP wasn’t fuckin’ around with yinz jagoffs this year. Helluva haul. My only minor quibble is Malik Nabers over my guy Rome Odunze, BUT I’m guessing I’m in the minority on that especially after Nabers stellar pro day.
Run Like You Stole It:
DP’s daughter is no doubt a brilliant UGA student and Bulldog insider. She told her dad to ignore Kamari Lassiter’s slow 40 and focus on his class leading cone work. Kam Kinchens and his slow 40 also will prove his doubters wrong and form a nice duo with Budda Baker.
Steve Smiff:
Jermaine Burton is his clone. Competitive, MEAN, ‘sum bitch that will fight for the ball then fight ya in the parking lot afterwards.
Catfished:
Marist Liufa teases with some serious giddeeup, but B2B thinks he’ll wash out faster than Manti Te’o
Speaking of Polynesians:
Laiatu Latu is a helluva story. Rugby stud nearly quit football after a serious neck injury. Pass rushing terror for an undermanned Cardinals defense.
2) Blue Ridge’s 49ers
1) Kingsley Suamataia OT BYU
2) Michael Hall DT Ohio State
2)Ricky Pearsall WR Florida
3)Ennis Rakestraw CB Missouri
3)Ben Sinnott TE Kansas St
5)Mo Kamara EDGE Colorado St
5) Ray Davis RB UK
6) James Williams S/LB Miami
6) Mike Pratt QB Tulane
Mormons:
NICEST people (ok one is). Truly selfless do-gooders. My Mormon neighbor helped me remove a fallen tree saving me $$$. Then told me about his kids that are literally all over the world helping people. Helping people? What a concept! His oldest son is now at BYU. I was already a fan of Kingsley Suamataia and that gorgeous backdrop behind Lavell Edwards Stadium, NOW I’m buying a BYU T-shirt…or something.
“Please don’t let the invisible fire burn my friend!”
Too much writing. Must put laptop down. Ricky Pearsall not Ricky Bobby. Fantastic pick to replace the lopsided trade of Brandon Aiyuk to YOUR Steelers.
Kyle Juszcyk’s wife is hot:
Just sayin. Ben Sinnott a fun player who could have versatile role out in the land of homeless people.
3.) Ohmegosh’s Rams
1)Troy Fautanu OT UW
2) Mike Penix QB UW
3) Adisa Isaac EDGE Penn St
3) Jaden Hicks S Wazzu
5) Keith Randolph DT Illinois
5) Kamal Hadden CB Vols
6) Blake Watson RB Memphis
6)Liderick Griffin WR Miss St
6) Dequan Evan S South Florida
6) Layden Robinson OG Texas A&M
7) Kalen Deloach LB Florida St.
Sean McVay’s Wife is Hot too:
Just sayin. McVay might be the only coach I’d feel good about for Mike Penix.
Dogs, not “Dawgs”
Back to back Huskies. Troy Fautanu playing LT along with what is now the highest priced interior OL in the NFL just a brilliant pick by Ohmegosh.
OZ:
Adebisi was one scary dude. Fuuuuck no I’m not going to prison! Speaking of crime, grand larceny getting the Adisa kid in rd 3. Criminal.
4.) Treat’s Seahawks
1) Tyler Guyton OT OU
2) Javon Solomon EDGE Troy
3) Cole Bishop S Utah
4) Jaylen Wright RB Vols
6) Tyron Hopper LB Missouri
6) Myles Murphy DL UNC
7) Justin Blazek EDGE UW-Plattville
Triple Chin Heupel:
Dudes hiding his face behind a stack of pancakes. Shit-off stupid coach. Watched Jaylen Wright rip off a 75 yd TD run to open the game against my Dawgs then essentially abandon the run the rest of the way. Not a snipe but another rb I had high up on my Packers’ wish list.
Rabbit better be good:
Cole Bishop another safety I passed on to draft a kid named “Rabbit.”
Stranger Things:
When the hell is that series finale coming out? Holy slow. ‘ol Jim Hopper kicked ass against those ugly Demogorgon things. Tyron Hopper probably wouldn’t fair quite as well, but I like him better than Pabst, our resident Mizzou fan.
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the drafts you liked and those you didn’t. Just a few more weeks until the real thing. Hang in there, y’all
