I know the game is trending in a different (worse) direction, but I’ve always been a linebacker guy.
Your beloved Steelers?
Their linebackers SUCK.
Pat Queen was handpicked by Tomlin.
Payton Wilson is a workout warrior but isn’t very good at football.
Lucky for K-H-A-N (he’s not a hotdog) this is a GREAT year to need a linebacker or TWO.
Let’s take a look at some options to fix this hot mess of a unit:
Free Agents:
• Leo Chenal- “Pay that man his money.” Fast and physical headbanger that makes plays ALL OVER THE DAMN FIELD. That’s my guy, LEO!
• Quay Walker- Damn Good ‘Dawg will smack you AND your mama right in the mouth.
• Devin Lloyd- No relation to Greg, but this Jag will hunt.
• Kaden Ellis- Underrated LB for my transplant hometown Falcons.
• Nakobe Dean- Member of the Philly Bulldogs. Great little player when healthy.
• Devin Bush- “We’ve got Bush…We’ve got Bush.” Well we had Bush and he sucked. Now apparently he’s pretty damn good.
• Alex Anzalone- He of the flowing locks. Solid player for the Lions when healthy.
• Quincy Williams- Not as impactful as brother Quinnen, but dude can play
• Elandon Roberts- Hell yeah Pat Graham is bringing him back.
• Lavonte David- Old dude should just retire
• Bobby Wagner- Old dude should just retire
• Demario Davis-Old dude should just retire
Trade or Release:
• Jordyn Brooks- The Dolphins can’t cut bait with everyone can they? Shit yeah I’m picking up the phone and seeing what they want for this stud.
• Tremaine Edmunds- Your Steelers liked his brother better than Lamar Jackson.
• Bobby Okereke- Tackling machine for Giants said to be cut candidate.
• Drue Tranquil- Chiefs still all kinds of over the cap.
• Zaire Franklin- Longtime Colts’ MLB rumored to be released.
• Trenton Simpson- Rat lost his starting gig to rookie Teddye Buchanan
The Draft (If you can’t find a LB this year, your scouting department SUCKS):
• Arvell Reese Buckeyes- Chess piece for a creative DC to cause chaos and mayhem with.
• Sonny Styles Buckeyes- All-Time Combine workout, but kid can also play.
• Anthony Hill Texas- Seek and destroy type that I do so dig. Will be banging the table (ottoman) for this guy if he makes it to Steelers 2nd round pick.
• Josiah Trotter Mizzou- Did ya watch any Missouri football this year? Attacking front 7 that imposed its will into SEC backfields.
• CJ Allen Georgia- Alpha ‘Dawg knows only full speed. Proud carrier of the “Bad Motherfucker” wallet.
• Jacob Rodriguez Texas Tech- Damn oil money. “Don’t ever put your dick in a woman’s omellete.”
• Kyle Louis Pitt- Do it Art. Placate to the Pitt crowd gathered in dahntahn Pittsburgh. Pat Graham will have to get creative. Innovation not a word Art Rooney is familiar with.
• Jake Golday Cinci- I refuse to let Payton Wilson ruin me for all white linebackers.
• Harold Perkins LSU- Another chess piece type that just expodes into the backfield.
• Deionte Lawson Roll Tide- Twitchy cover guy that would be ranked higher if Bama had an actual coaching staff.
• Justin Jefferson Roll Tide- Saban would’ve molded this piece of clay into at worst a day 2 pick.
• Jimmy Rolder scUM- Instinctive, sure tackler whose best football is still ahead of him.
• Owen Heinecke Sooners- Drew rave reviews for his on field performance up in Indy.
• Bryce Boettcher Ducks- Another smooth mover up in Indy.
• Taurean York Aggie- I like “Toro” better than you do. Little fella hits hard.
• Eric Gentry USC- The black Mad Stork. 6’7 221. Wingspan of a condor is excellent pursuer of the football.
• Kaleb Elarms-Orr TCU- Combine Warlord (9.92 RAS) can also play football.
• Lander Barton Utah- Not Jack Campbell tall but pretty close.
• Karson Sharar Iowa- ’40 vert? What do they feed these white boys up in Iowa?
• Jack Kelly BYU- Team leader always around the football. Day 3 type that will play in the league for a decade.
• Aiden Fisher National Champion- Not a combine star just a good football player.
Thanks as always for reading. Please comment on the linebackers you like and those you don’t. I hope this Pat Graham fella was a good hire. I want my linebackers to cause chaos and mayhem. YOU SUCK, Tomlin!
